1
00:00:38,840 --> 00:00:39,840
Dead?
2
00:00:40,600 --> 00:00:41,840
He could be.
3
00:00:42,040 --> 00:00:43,520
It's incontinence.
4
00:00:43,720 --> 00:00:44,665
Oh.
5
00:00:44,680 --> 00:00:46,840
- Look at his wipe-down chair.
- No, wait.
6
00:00:47,000 --> 00:00:48,640
- Oh, no, he's here, he's here.
- Hello.
7
00:00:48,840 --> 00:00:51,920
- Hello.
- Hello, and indeed, hello and welcome.
8
00:00:52,120 --> 00:00:54,560
Hum… What are we talking about
in this show? Oh, I know.
9
00:00:54,760 --> 00:00:59,280
We have built a lot of stuff
over the years, really a lot.
10
00:00:59,480 --> 00:01:01,600
Yeah, when you say "built",
11
00:01:02,240 --> 00:01:06,480
you don't mean "built" in the sense
of assemble all the correct materials
12
00:01:06,640 --> 00:01:09,000
in the proper order
so they last for centuries,
13
00:01:09,200 --> 00:01:12,320
like the Acropolis,
or Clifton Suspension Bridge,
14
00:01:12,520 --> 00:01:13,960
or Newcastle upon Tyne.
15
00:01:14,120 --> 00:01:17,040
You mean hastily throw together
a load of stuff
16
00:01:17,240 --> 00:01:20,080
and then sit back
and inevitably watch it fall apart.
17
00:01:20,240 --> 00:01:23,600
And you are the king of that,
I'll grant you.
18
00:01:23,760 --> 00:01:29,480
There was that
catastrophic MGD that you tried.
19
00:01:29,680 --> 00:01:32,880
That was rubbish.
And then it was rubbish all over again.
20
00:01:33,080 --> 00:01:34,840
You took a perfectly good Mercedes,
21
00:01:35,040 --> 00:01:37,600
ruined it and called it The Excellent.
22
00:01:37,800 --> 00:01:39,240
- It was excellent, that.
- Except it wasn't
23
00:01:39,400 --> 00:01:41,480
- in anyway whatsoever.
- I heard that bit.
24
00:01:41,680 --> 00:01:43,560
And it's not just cars, if only it were.
25
00:01:43,720 --> 00:01:47,520
Remember you tried building a machine
to break the water speed record.
26
00:01:47,680 --> 00:01:51,720
Even the engine testing was a disaster.
27
00:01:52,840 --> 00:01:55,520
- You can't even fit your hearing aids.
- They're not working.
28
00:01:55,680 --> 00:01:57,920
He hasn't heard any of that.
You'll have to start again.
29
00:02:08,240 --> 00:02:13,120
In many ways, the MGD puts me
in mind of an Audi R8 Spyder.
30
00:02:15,040 --> 00:02:16,600
I mean, okay, in the Audi,
31
00:02:16,800 --> 00:02:19,200
the dials would work, and the switches.
32
00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:20,840
And the brakes.
33
00:02:21,520 --> 00:02:24,560
And the steering.
And it's a bit less bouncy. But…
34
00:02:25,480 --> 00:02:26,465
Oh.
35
00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:27,480
What?
36
00:02:27,600 --> 00:02:29,680
Just this…
Sorry, sorry, I'll be back.
37
00:02:29,880 --> 00:02:31,640
- What are you doing anyway?
- I liked that one.
38
00:02:31,840 --> 00:02:33,840
I'm charging my hearing aids up.
39
00:02:35,000 --> 00:02:36,880
But you've ruined the television.
40
00:02:37,080 --> 00:02:38,680
- It'll be back.
- We've got nothing to look at.
41
00:02:39,160 --> 00:02:40,160
But…
42
00:02:40,640 --> 00:02:42,000
both of them
43
00:02:42,160 --> 00:02:46,240
are four-wheel drive
two-seater drop-head V8s.
44
00:02:47,640 --> 00:02:51,720
There is, however, one very
big difference between the two cars.
45
00:02:51,880 --> 00:02:53,400
You can't do this in an Audi.
46
00:03:00,080 --> 00:03:01,600
Oh, yes. Yes.
47
00:03:03,440 --> 00:03:07,760
Moments ago, I was haring round
a handling track, and now look.
48
00:03:09,520 --> 00:03:11,920
It is brilliant.
49
00:03:15,400 --> 00:03:18,640
Oh no, not now, you bastard.
50
00:03:18,800 --> 00:03:20,680
I mean, you wonderful thing.
51
00:03:21,800 --> 00:03:23,240
Choke.
52
00:03:24,080 --> 00:03:25,080
The, yeah, that…
53
00:03:27,360 --> 00:03:30,600
It's on its shut-down thing.
It's just to save fuel.
54
00:03:30,800 --> 00:03:32,840
It goes on two cylinders sometimes.
55
00:03:37,760 --> 00:03:39,360
As I got going
for the second time,
56
00:03:39,520 --> 00:03:42,280
I realised I'd been a bit of a chump.
57
00:03:42,440 --> 00:03:46,360
The mistake I've made, of course,
is that I've introduced you to this car
58
00:03:46,520 --> 00:03:47,720
before I've really tested it.
59
00:03:47,880 --> 00:03:49,800
That's not what car-makers do.
60
00:03:49,960 --> 00:03:54,280
They test a car and then show it
to the press and the public.
61
00:03:55,240 --> 00:03:57,800
I'm doing that the other way round.
I'm introducing this to you
62
00:03:58,560 --> 00:04:00,200
before I've done the testing.
63
00:04:04,240 --> 00:04:06,400
Oh, Christ sake.
64
00:04:10,400 --> 00:04:11,920
You little beauty.
65
00:04:15,240 --> 00:04:19,240
It's a car
I have justifiably called The Excellent.
66
00:04:20,040 --> 00:04:22,920
The internal organs
from a Land Rover Discovery
67
00:04:23,080 --> 00:04:27,640
mated to the beautiful skin
of a glamorous Mercedes SL
68
00:04:28,480 --> 00:04:32,600
to create a vision of pure…
What's the word?
69
00:04:32,800 --> 00:04:33,800
Rubbish.
70
00:04:33,920 --> 00:04:34,920
It's not rubbish.
71
00:04:35,120 --> 00:04:37,920
Did you paint it with a brush,
or a bucket?
72
00:04:38,120 --> 00:04:40,600
It's got those headlights that swivel
when you go round a bend, look,
73
00:04:40,760 --> 00:04:42,000
so that they point at the road.
74
00:04:42,200 --> 00:04:43,200
Okay.
75
00:04:43,680 --> 00:04:46,200
Let me ask you this. Which would you
rather have, The Excellent
76
00:04:46,400 --> 00:04:48,600
- or that Porsche?
- That Porsche.
77
00:04:48,800 --> 00:04:49,745
Why?
78
00:04:49,760 --> 00:04:51,440
Because it's better
in every single way.
79
00:04:52,480 --> 00:04:54,480
To prove
my cynical colleagues wrong,
80
00:04:54,680 --> 00:04:57,560
I invited them to go for a drive.
81
00:04:59,360 --> 00:05:00,345
Oh, kind.
82
00:05:00,360 --> 00:05:03,440
You see? It's an optional extra
for the shorter gentleman.
83
00:05:03,640 --> 00:05:04,960
- You comfy, Hammond?
- No.
84
00:05:06,360 --> 00:05:08,280
No. Is this as in as I can get?
85
00:05:08,480 --> 00:05:09,480
Yeah.
86
00:05:09,640 --> 00:05:11,520
Right, listen to this.
87
00:05:14,280 --> 00:05:15,720
Oh no, it moves!
88
00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:21,160
We'd only gone a few miles
89
00:05:21,360 --> 00:05:24,600
before Richard and James
completely changed their minds
90
00:05:24,760 --> 00:05:29,120
and realised that The Excellent
was the best car they'd ever been in.
91
00:05:29,320 --> 00:05:32,240
No, we haven't! Stop saying things
in voiceover that aren't true.
92
00:05:32,440 --> 00:05:33,920
Is it not?
I thought you'd changed your minds.
93
00:05:34,120 --> 00:05:35,880
No. Maybe a bit.
It's worse than I thought.
94
00:05:36,080 --> 00:05:37,320
Can I put the heater on?
95
00:05:37,480 --> 00:05:38,560
That's not connected.
96
00:05:38,720 --> 00:05:39,880
- Is it not?
- No.
97
00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:41,560
What's that dial down there
by the left of the steering wheel?
98
00:05:41,720 --> 00:05:42,705
Speedometer.
99
00:05:42,720 --> 00:05:44,360
Why have you got that one
and not that one?
100
00:05:44,560 --> 00:05:45,545
That doesn't work.
101
00:05:45,560 --> 00:05:46,680
Has it got a fuel gauge?
102
00:05:46,880 --> 00:05:48,080
Not as such.
103
00:05:48,240 --> 00:05:49,920
- Has it got a temperature gauge?
- Not really.
104
00:05:50,120 --> 00:05:53,280
There's a lot of wires hanging out of
the dash that aren't connected to things.
105
00:05:53,440 --> 00:05:54,920
- Yes.
- You haven't given it an interior.
106
00:05:59,160 --> 00:06:00,880
- I can see the road.
- I can as well.
107
00:06:01,040 --> 00:06:02,440
No, there's a hole
in the floor.
108
00:06:04,600 --> 00:06:07,480
While Hammond and May
had one or two minor issues,
109
00:06:07,640 --> 00:06:10,760
they both agreed that if I were to put
my car into production,
110
00:06:10,960 --> 00:06:13,240
it would make me a fortune.
111
00:06:13,440 --> 00:06:15,480
No, we didn't agree to that either.
112
00:06:15,680 --> 00:06:17,520
No, I've done the maths,
honestly.
113
00:06:17,680 --> 00:06:19,400
The Discovery was
two and a half thousand,
114
00:06:19,600 --> 00:06:21,440
Mercedes four and a half thousand,
115
00:06:21,600 --> 00:06:24,480
- £7,000 for the work, that's 14,000 quid.
- Mm-hmm.
116
00:06:24,640 --> 00:06:26,680
I could sell this for 120,000.
117
00:06:26,840 --> 00:06:28,120
- No you couldn't.
- Yes, I could.
118
00:06:28,280 --> 00:06:30,200
- No, you couldn't.
- A Cayenne Turbo is 120.
119
00:06:30,360 --> 00:06:33,640
A Cayenne Turbo is a proper car
built by Porsche.
120
00:06:33,840 --> 00:06:37,640
This is two scrap cars
glued together by a muppet.
121
00:06:37,840 --> 00:06:39,880
It isn't designed for people like you.
122
00:06:40,040 --> 00:06:41,600
- Oh!
- What? People with eyes?
123
00:06:42,160 --> 00:06:43,800
People who can dress themselves
in the morning?
124
00:06:43,960 --> 00:06:46,520
I'll tell you exactly
who will buy this car.
125
00:06:46,720 --> 00:06:49,120
People who use roundy-ended scissors.
126
00:06:49,280 --> 00:06:51,160
- Footballers.
- No, they won't.
127
00:06:51,320 --> 00:06:52,760
Footballers like Ferraris and…
128
00:06:52,920 --> 00:06:55,320
Yeah, and Bentleys and Range Rovers,
and Aston Martins and all that.
129
00:06:55,480 --> 00:06:56,920
Not this thing.
130
00:07:02,320 --> 00:07:03,920
To prove them wrong again,
131
00:07:04,080 --> 00:07:07,920
I decided to head
for the nearby Chelsea training ground.
132
00:07:08,960 --> 00:07:11,880
These are people who understand cars,
not like you two.
133
00:07:12,400 --> 00:07:13,385
Yeah, they understand cars.
134
00:07:13,400 --> 00:07:16,640
That's why they buy Range Rover Sports
and Aston Martins.
135
00:07:16,840 --> 00:07:19,920
They buy those things 'cause
they didn't know that you could do this.
136
00:07:20,480 --> 00:07:22,320
- I like my car.
- It's shit.
137
00:07:28,000 --> 00:07:29,800
They're flocking to it, aren't they?
138
00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:31,000
You just watch.
139
00:07:31,680 --> 00:07:34,680
At this point,
I dismissed my ignorant colleagues,
140
00:07:34,880 --> 00:07:37,120
so that I could operate
the subtitle machine.
141
00:07:37,320 --> 00:07:38,760
Tomorrow morning,
first thing,
142
00:07:39,200 --> 00:07:41,600
I'm going to get rid of all my cars
143
00:07:42,280 --> 00:07:43,920
and buy one of these.
144
00:07:45,280 --> 00:07:46,560
What's perfect for me
145
00:07:46,720 --> 00:07:48,640
is that there's loads of headroom.
146
00:07:51,480 --> 00:07:53,680
This door,
it puts Rolls Royce to shame.
147
00:07:53,880 --> 00:07:55,640
Do you know what I'm thinking?
148
00:07:57,040 --> 00:07:59,360
You're thinking £120,000 is too cheap.
149
00:07:59,560 --> 00:08:01,360
I think this is…
150
00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:04,080
flipping amazing!
151
00:08:06,920 --> 00:08:07,920
So, did you get any orders?
152
00:08:08,080 --> 00:08:11,040
I noticed that the car park was still
full of Mercedes G-Class when we left.
153
00:08:11,200 --> 00:08:12,200
- I saw that.
- Yeah.
154
00:08:12,240 --> 00:08:13,240
Listen.
155
00:08:13,480 --> 00:08:17,960
I could put this into an auction,
one of those posh upmarket ones,
156
00:08:18,160 --> 00:08:19,960
and it would sell for £120,000.
157
00:08:20,160 --> 00:08:21,480
It would not!
158
00:08:22,200 --> 00:08:24,320
To prove them wrong, again.
159
00:08:36,160 --> 00:08:39,000
"Hand-crafted
by a renowned British atelier.
160
00:08:39,200 --> 00:08:42,080
"Sympathetically marries the chassis
of the esteemed…"
161
00:08:43,120 --> 00:08:46,080
- Did you write this?
- You hammered that bit onto that bit.
162
00:08:46,280 --> 00:08:48,920
"The interior would benefit
from some minor attention."
163
00:08:49,120 --> 00:08:50,760
- Well, it would.
- Yes, with a hand grenade.
164
00:08:50,960 --> 00:08:52,280
Lot number 132.
165
00:08:52,440 --> 00:08:54,880
Soon, the auction was underway.
166
00:08:55,080 --> 00:08:57,360
285 for the Countach.
167
00:08:58,080 --> 00:09:01,560
See, the Countach just went for £285,000.
168
00:09:01,760 --> 00:09:04,200
I think I'm going to sell The Excellent
for more than theirs.
169
00:09:04,720 --> 00:09:06,760
And then, it was time.
170
00:09:06,960 --> 00:09:10,360
Moving on
to lot number 138a,
171
00:09:10,520 --> 00:09:12,120
The Excellent.
172
00:09:12,320 --> 00:09:15,840
It's a fantastic hand-crafted,
very unusual machine, as you can see.
173
00:09:16,000 --> 00:09:17,080
I don't want your wit.
174
00:09:17,280 --> 00:09:20,280
A beautiful, stylish,
Mercedes Benz coachwork.
175
00:09:20,480 --> 00:09:22,560
Start me if you will on this at…
176
00:09:22,760 --> 00:09:24,520
£425.
177
00:09:24,680 --> 00:09:28,400
At £425. Any advance at 400…
178
00:09:28,600 --> 00:09:30,680
- £500. 550 anywhere?
- Somebody's bid!
179
00:09:30,880 --> 00:09:31,880
550 here.
180
00:09:32,080 --> 00:09:34,520
600 here. 650, 650. 700 now.
181
00:09:34,720 --> 00:09:36,680
- Rattling up.
- 700 anywhere?
182
00:09:36,880 --> 00:09:37,880
700 here.
183
00:09:38,080 --> 00:09:39,760
700. 800 now.
184
00:09:39,960 --> 00:09:40,960
Let's go for a thousand.
185
00:09:47,200 --> 00:09:48,960
Let's get going,
come on, let's sell this car.
186
00:09:51,400 --> 00:09:52,520
£1,000 here on my right.
187
00:09:52,720 --> 00:09:55,240
Are you bidding? Jeremy, are you bidding?
188
00:09:55,440 --> 00:09:56,800
2,000 if you wish.
189
00:09:57,000 --> 00:09:59,120
It's 2,500, 2,500.
190
00:09:59,320 --> 00:10:02,040
3,000 now, it's 3,000 here.
3,500 anywhere?
191
00:10:03,000 --> 00:10:04,000
3,100.
192
00:10:05,280 --> 00:10:08,280
At 3,100, £3,200.
193
00:10:08,480 --> 00:10:10,880
- At £3,500 pounds.
- It cost me 14,000.
194
00:10:11,880 --> 00:10:12,880
4,000.
195
00:10:12,920 --> 00:10:14,880
At £4,000.
196
00:10:15,080 --> 00:10:16,720
At £4,000, any more?
197
00:10:21,400 --> 00:10:22,400
At £4,000.
198
00:10:23,040 --> 00:10:24,600
Come and see us after.
Thank you very much.
199
00:10:24,760 --> 00:10:26,320
You just lost ten grand.
200
00:10:26,520 --> 00:10:28,120
He could have just thrown it
down the lavatory.
201
00:10:28,320 --> 00:10:29,960
The Jaguar Mark 2,
start me on this if you will.
202
00:10:30,120 --> 00:10:31,640
£30,000 anywhere?
203
00:10:31,840 --> 00:10:33,400
30,000? 20,000 then.
204
00:10:40,160 --> 00:10:41,920
- Did you build all this?
- Yes.
205
00:10:42,080 --> 00:10:43,760
- Can I just ask?
- What?
206
00:10:43,960 --> 00:10:46,640
What is the current speed record
for amphibious vehicles?
207
00:10:46,800 --> 00:10:49,760
39.1 miles an hour.
208
00:10:49,960 --> 00:10:52,120
Well, isn't this rather overkill?
209
00:10:53,240 --> 00:10:57,920
Listen, Usain Bolt can run
at 27 miles an hour on land, okay.
210
00:10:58,080 --> 00:11:01,320
If he were waist deep in water,
he'd have a top speed of about one.
211
00:11:01,880 --> 00:11:04,280
Water's really sticky.
You need loads of power.
212
00:11:04,720 --> 00:11:07,440
I've got a word in my head
for all this, and it's impractical.
213
00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:10,040
I've got a word, it's shut up.
We're going.
214
00:11:12,680 --> 00:11:14,480
- Is it loud?
- Very.
215
00:11:15,120 --> 00:11:16,120
That's fired up.
216
00:11:16,720 --> 00:11:19,160
That's gonna drive air
into the big engine.
217
00:11:20,320 --> 00:11:22,360
We've gotta get those in the green.
218
00:11:22,560 --> 00:11:23,880
I hate it when you've got buttons.
219
00:11:24,040 --> 00:11:25,640
I can't hear anything.
220
00:11:25,840 --> 00:11:27,600
Ignited. Oh!
221
00:11:29,400 --> 00:11:31,440
I'm gonna give it some thrust now!
222
00:11:43,240 --> 00:11:45,320
Gonna go up to 100% power!
223
00:12:36,600 --> 00:12:38,240
Right, as you can see, everyone,
224
00:12:38,440 --> 00:12:40,120
this is fully road legal.
225
00:12:40,320 --> 00:12:43,240
Lights, indicators, number plates.
226
00:12:43,440 --> 00:12:45,920
- And a massive jet engine just behind us.
- Yes.
227
00:12:50,800 --> 00:12:53,680
I've gotta change gear
and it's right where your penis is!
228
00:12:53,840 --> 00:12:56,840
I never want your hand
that near my gentleman's sausage.
229
00:13:00,320 --> 00:13:01,800
What are these things
above our heads exactly?
230
00:13:01,960 --> 00:13:04,200
These are the stabilisation tanks, yeah?
231
00:13:04,400 --> 00:13:06,560
When we get in the water, you lower
them down and they keep us afloat.
232
00:13:06,720 --> 00:13:08,360
No, I've got that.
I got that when we fitted them.
233
00:13:08,560 --> 00:13:12,160
But what we're now discovering is
they make us more stable on water,
234
00:13:12,320 --> 00:13:14,120
but a lot less on land!
235
00:13:14,560 --> 00:13:16,200
James,
why are you being so quiet?
236
00:13:16,360 --> 00:13:17,560
I'm waiting for it to fall over.
237
00:13:19,840 --> 00:13:23,760
Will you stop making
stupid childish noises?
238
00:13:24,560 --> 00:13:26,760
I think we've done an incredible job
239
00:13:26,920 --> 00:13:29,960
and I think I've been
a remarkable project leader.
240
00:13:30,520 --> 00:13:32,960
Why has no one thought to do this before?
241
00:13:33,160 --> 00:13:34,840
No, it's so logical when you look at it.
242
00:13:37,480 --> 00:13:40,320
Eventually,
we arrived at the lake…
243
00:13:42,920 --> 00:13:45,960
for our first high-speed test run.
244
00:13:47,200 --> 00:13:51,000
And immediately, Hammond chickened out.
245
00:13:52,720 --> 00:13:54,960
Why aren't you wearing
a fire suit?
246
00:13:55,120 --> 00:13:57,760
Jet engines just aren't my thing.
247
00:13:57,920 --> 00:13:59,440
I'm gonna watch this from the bank.
248
00:13:59,640 --> 00:14:01,040
Are you really not coming in it?
249
00:14:01,200 --> 00:14:03,480
No, I'm gonna watch.
I'm gonna be the observer.
250
00:14:12,400 --> 00:14:13,880
Oh. She's ready.
251
00:14:14,920 --> 00:14:19,760
My big fear is… Let's be modest
and say let's say we reached 80.
252
00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:22,600
So from here,
we've got to have to just use drag
253
00:14:22,800 --> 00:14:24,880
to slow us down
before we hit the far bank.
254
00:14:25,040 --> 00:14:27,360
Well, we have to think ahead, yes.
255
00:14:27,520 --> 00:14:30,200
Start decelerating
when you pass that midpoint.
256
00:14:30,400 --> 00:14:31,480
Then you diff… You should be all right.
257
00:14:31,640 --> 00:14:33,680
I think he's right.
The middle is the critical point.
258
00:14:33,880 --> 00:14:35,240
Then just back off
the throttles.
259
00:14:35,400 --> 00:14:38,600
And then we'll just use the drag
of the pontoons to slow us down.
260
00:14:39,960 --> 00:14:42,240
Right.
261
00:14:42,400 --> 00:14:45,360
Soon, James and I
were ready for the test,
262
00:14:45,560 --> 00:14:47,400
and not at all nervous.
263
00:14:49,200 --> 00:14:50,440
When we fire up the jet…
264
00:14:50,640 --> 00:14:53,080
- Hmm?
- This Perspex that I put in here,
265
00:14:53,280 --> 00:14:54,560
I put it in.
266
00:14:55,200 --> 00:14:57,200
So, what if that just goes?
267
00:14:57,400 --> 00:14:58,960
You shouldn't have said that.
268
00:14:59,120 --> 00:15:00,720
You know, in Die Hard 2,
269
00:15:01,240 --> 00:15:03,480
when the enormous soldier
is sucked into the engine?
270
00:15:03,640 --> 00:15:05,560
Oh yeah, yeah, that's like that.
271
00:15:05,720 --> 00:15:06,720
It will be like that, won't it?
272
00:15:06,880 --> 00:15:08,640
Ready?
273
00:15:12,800 --> 00:15:13,800
We are going in.
274
00:15:17,480 --> 00:15:18,760
Oh, I feel buoyancy.
275
00:15:20,760 --> 00:15:22,360
I am proud
of my two colleagues.
276
00:15:22,520 --> 00:15:24,600
This is historic.
277
00:15:25,440 --> 00:15:28,040
We are now gonna fire up
the jet engine.
278
00:15:28,200 --> 00:15:29,560
Right, put your thing on.
It's gonna be bloody loud.
279
00:15:29,760 --> 00:15:31,640
- What thing?
- Use this.
280
00:15:32,480 --> 00:15:33,425
Right.
281
00:15:33,440 --> 00:15:35,160
Comms check, comms check.
282
00:15:35,680 --> 00:15:38,040
Dials are engaged.
This is the speedometer.
283
00:15:38,200 --> 00:15:40,280
This is okay,
we've got ignitor on, bilge pump off,
284
00:15:40,480 --> 00:15:42,240
throttle set at idle. Go.
285
00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:43,720
Starting jet.
286
00:15:46,600 --> 00:15:48,000
Holy shit!
287
00:15:48,680 --> 00:15:50,680
It's going round! Don't look at it.
288
00:15:50,880 --> 00:15:52,560
Don't look
in the rear-view mirror.
289
00:16:04,000 --> 00:16:05,480
This is phenomenal!
290
00:16:07,320 --> 00:16:09,280
Taking up the power now, 50%.
291
00:16:09,480 --> 00:16:10,840
Is that 50%?
292
00:16:11,040 --> 00:16:13,840
Yeah, that's about 50,
but 70 is 100.
293
00:16:14,040 --> 00:16:15,680
What do you mean, 70 is 100?
294
00:16:15,880 --> 00:16:18,760
I couldn't find a dial
that exactly matched the revs.
295
00:16:18,960 --> 00:16:22,400
So 70 on here is 100% thrust.
296
00:16:23,760 --> 00:16:25,680
I'm going full power, here we go.
297
00:16:27,800 --> 00:16:29,720
Hold tight, you want
to hold on to something, seriously.
298
00:16:29,920 --> 00:16:31,280
Right, go!
299
00:16:35,400 --> 00:16:37,400
That's 100% thrust.
300
00:16:55,600 --> 00:16:57,160
Right, well we're doing
two miles an hour.
301
00:16:57,760 --> 00:16:58,760
Come on!
302
00:16:59,840 --> 00:17:00,880
We're doing three!
303
00:17:02,000 --> 00:17:03,920
Why is it so slow?
304
00:17:04,120 --> 00:17:06,840
I mean,
that jet is from a Russian fighter.
305
00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:09,920
That is capable
of keeping a Russian fighter in the air.
306
00:17:10,080 --> 00:17:12,280
Why won't it make us go more than three?
307
00:17:12,440 --> 00:17:16,360
In the air! That's the point! The air!
308
00:17:18,600 --> 00:17:20,640
Hammond is keeping up with us.
309
00:17:22,240 --> 00:17:23,240
That's it.
310
00:17:23,880 --> 00:17:25,280
Come on!
311
00:17:26,040 --> 00:17:27,600
Can I just say something?
312
00:17:27,760 --> 00:17:29,920
- We're sinking.
- No, my half is sinking.
313
00:17:30,520 --> 00:17:32,120
God, we really do need…
314
00:17:32,320 --> 00:17:33,880
I'm gonna go into shore.
315
00:17:37,160 --> 00:17:39,760
I don't think they needed
the neck braces in the end.
316
00:17:46,040 --> 00:17:48,600
I don't know
what you're looking so smug about.
317
00:17:48,800 --> 00:17:51,960
Maker of the world's
worst emergency vehicles.
318
00:17:52,120 --> 00:17:53,320
Actually, yes, that's true.
319
00:17:53,480 --> 00:17:55,880
Remember when we did
that completely unscripted film
320
00:17:56,040 --> 00:17:57,160
that wasn't scripted at all?
321
00:17:57,360 --> 00:17:58,360
Yeah.
322
00:17:58,440 --> 00:18:01,320
And you decided, for some reason,
to build a Lada fire engine.
323
00:18:01,520 --> 00:18:04,560
Jeremy and I went
to all the trouble and bother
324
00:18:04,760 --> 00:18:07,640
of starting an actual fire
for you to show it off.
325
00:18:07,840 --> 00:18:09,840
And what happened? It was rubbish.
326
00:18:10,000 --> 00:18:12,520
And then,
for reasons I will never understand,
327
00:18:12,680 --> 00:18:15,080
in Eastern Europe,
we proved we hadn't learnt our lesson
328
00:18:15,880 --> 00:18:17,680
and we asked you to build an ambulance
329
00:18:17,840 --> 00:18:19,960
out of the world's slowest car.
330
00:18:20,160 --> 00:18:21,640
- Remember?
- Oh, yes.
331
00:18:21,840 --> 00:18:23,480
- And he built it.
- He'd… yes.
332
00:18:24,120 --> 00:18:25,105
It was idiotic.
333
00:18:25,120 --> 00:18:27,600
- The Crosley.
- Do you still take milk in your tea?
334
00:18:27,800 --> 00:18:29,800
Doesn't take tea anymore.
Straight through him.
335
00:18:30,600 --> 00:18:31,680
Where were we? Oh, I know.
336
00:18:31,880 --> 00:18:33,800
We were going to look at
his ridiculously useless
337
00:18:34,400 --> 00:18:35,960
emergency vehicles.
338
00:18:44,160 --> 00:18:46,480
Having travelled
a realistic distance from the road,
339
00:18:46,680 --> 00:18:49,560
we soon had a bush fire on the go.
340
00:18:49,720 --> 00:18:51,960
Oh, hello. Hello! Hello!
341
00:18:53,080 --> 00:18:55,360
Yes!
342
00:18:55,880 --> 00:18:57,800
- That is speeding things up, isn't it?
- Isn't it?
343
00:18:58,000 --> 00:18:59,080
There you go.
344
00:18:59,800 --> 00:19:01,720
What it's doing is catching on.
345
00:19:01,920 --> 00:19:04,160
The wind moves it along
and it gets bigger. It's quite good.
346
00:19:04,320 --> 00:19:05,640
- It's brilliant.
- Yeah, another bit there, look.
347
00:19:06,880 --> 00:19:10,080
Then, we told James
to come and do his stuff.
348
00:19:20,600 --> 00:19:22,960
Relax, I am coming
to put out the fire.
349
00:19:23,800 --> 00:19:26,880
However,
because of his leisurely pace,
350
00:19:27,040 --> 00:19:30,200
the fire had grown a bit
by the time he got there.
351
00:19:30,920 --> 00:19:31,920
Jeez!
352
00:19:35,560 --> 00:19:37,400
Pressure.
353
00:19:42,360 --> 00:19:43,960
It's too big!
354
00:19:44,760 --> 00:19:46,280
I've run out of water!
355
00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:55,240
This isn't gonna work.
356
00:19:55,880 --> 00:19:57,080
I think
what we've established here
357
00:19:57,240 --> 00:19:59,720
is that he's only capable
of putting out fires
358
00:19:59,880 --> 00:20:01,480
that he's started himself.
359
00:20:01,640 --> 00:20:04,360
- Yeah, that are nearby and contained.
- Yeah.
360
00:20:04,560 --> 00:20:06,600
I haven't got anything left!
361
00:20:08,920 --> 00:20:12,840
Luckily, at this point,
the real fire brigade arrived.
362
00:20:47,040 --> 00:20:48,200
Thank you!
363
00:21:03,440 --> 00:21:04,440
Oh, bollocks!
364
00:21:06,280 --> 00:21:08,040
Hammond's off.
365
00:21:08,680 --> 00:21:09,680
What?
366
00:21:09,800 --> 00:21:11,600
- Hammond's off.
- Shit.
367
00:21:16,120 --> 00:21:17,120
Oh God.
368
00:21:23,160 --> 00:21:27,320
I'm all right. Hurt my leg,
but I do need someone to come and get me.
369
00:21:27,720 --> 00:21:29,600
James is on his way.
370
00:21:31,080 --> 00:21:32,080
Who?
371
00:21:32,640 --> 00:21:35,000
James.
James is on his way.
372
00:22:00,760 --> 00:22:02,120
Oh, come on.
373
00:22:16,040 --> 00:22:18,280
There you go.
I'm just thinking, what was
374
00:22:18,920 --> 00:22:22,520
the most ambitious thing we ever built
on The Grand Tour?
375
00:22:24,120 --> 00:22:26,800
It wasn't a reputation
for being excellent.
376
00:22:27,920 --> 00:22:30,320
I don't think it was.
No, I mean I'm thinking of the Trebuchet,
377
00:22:30,520 --> 00:22:32,720
that was pretty ambitious
and it kind of worked.
378
00:22:32,920 --> 00:22:34,440
Three, two, one…
379
00:22:41,840 --> 00:22:44,280
Oh, good, there it is.
I've got it, I've got it. There it is.
380
00:22:45,920 --> 00:22:47,200
Oh, shit.
381
00:22:49,000 --> 00:22:52,120
And then, making cars out of meat.
382
00:22:52,320 --> 00:22:53,320
And mud.
383
00:22:53,360 --> 00:22:54,960
Why did we make cars out of meat?
384
00:22:55,120 --> 00:22:57,720
- They were eco cars.
- Oh yeah.
385
00:23:02,040 --> 00:23:03,520
That's ecological.
386
00:23:04,200 --> 00:23:06,840
Greenpeace are going to be ringing him up
at any moment.
387
00:23:07,440 --> 00:23:09,520
So yours was made out of mud,
388
00:23:09,720 --> 00:23:12,000
- mine was meat, and yours was–-
- I can't remember.
389
00:23:12,160 --> 00:23:14,360
No, yours was straw.
Mine was meat.
390
00:23:14,560 --> 00:23:16,160
Mine was mud
391
00:23:16,320 --> 00:23:18,360
and yours was sort of growing.
392
00:23:18,520 --> 00:23:20,360
It was like a garden centre.
393
00:23:20,560 --> 00:23:23,560
Yes, 'cause a tractor shaved it.
394
00:23:26,600 --> 00:23:29,160
James is making such a racket, isn't he?
395
00:23:29,520 --> 00:23:31,120
It's worse than last time.
396
00:23:32,240 --> 00:23:35,760
The difference on this trip,
while he's been tearing nature apart,
397
00:23:35,920 --> 00:23:37,320
I've never felt closer to it.
398
00:23:37,520 --> 00:23:40,720
Well, he's just messing everything up.
399
00:23:46,720 --> 00:23:47,920
Holy cow.
400
00:23:48,520 --> 00:23:51,720
Anyway, there was that, and then RVs.
401
00:23:51,920 --> 00:23:52,920
RVs.
402
00:23:52,960 --> 00:23:55,320
We set out to make RV-ing less miserable.
403
00:23:55,480 --> 00:23:57,200
- Yes.
- And our ideas were brilliant.
404
00:23:57,360 --> 00:23:59,680
No, our ideas were brilliant.
Yours was terrible.
405
00:23:59,880 --> 00:24:01,000
Harsh.
406
00:24:08,360 --> 00:24:09,960
This is what I've gone for.
407
00:24:10,120 --> 00:24:15,880
It's the Ford F550 National Tropical
and it's 36 feet long.
408
00:24:16,080 --> 00:24:17,440
Why so massive?
409
00:24:17,600 --> 00:24:21,320
I wanted to modify it in such a way that
I brought a small taste of home with me.
410
00:24:21,800 --> 00:24:23,960
Holy moly!
411
00:24:24,560 --> 00:24:25,545
Wow!
412
00:24:25,560 --> 00:24:28,000
Welcome to the Rack and Pinion.
What will it be?
413
00:24:28,200 --> 00:24:30,760
- I'm in a pub!
- I'm staggered!
414
00:24:30,920 --> 00:24:33,800
It's got peanuts on the wall.
Terrible pictures.
415
00:24:34,000 --> 00:24:35,640
- This is fabulous!
- I know.
416
00:24:38,280 --> 00:24:41,800
I've gone, as you can see,
for a nautical theme.
417
00:24:41,960 --> 00:24:44,600
- In the desert?
- Yes, bear with me.
418
00:24:44,800 --> 00:24:46,040
Two-tone paintwork, obviously.
419
00:24:46,200 --> 00:24:47,960
Jet ski on the back,
420
00:24:48,120 --> 00:24:49,840
and then, up on the top,
421
00:24:50,000 --> 00:24:52,680
and this really is
the pièce de résistance,
422
00:24:52,880 --> 00:24:54,360
the flying bridge.
423
00:24:55,000 --> 00:24:56,440
What, so you can drive it
from outside?
424
00:24:56,600 --> 00:24:58,800
- Why would you not do that?
- Because you built it.
425
00:24:59,000 --> 00:25:00,560
- Wow!
- What?
426
00:25:01,760 --> 00:25:03,280
Is this all bathroom?
427
00:25:04,280 --> 00:25:05,600
Yes, obviously. Or lavatory.
428
00:25:06,120 --> 00:25:08,640
Just pop this open like so.
429
00:25:10,280 --> 00:25:12,520
- Wow.
- Lower the flap, which means that
430
00:25:13,160 --> 00:25:15,640
in the morning I can
431
00:25:16,840 --> 00:25:19,320
sit down and I can see the pub.
432
00:25:20,160 --> 00:25:21,160
And also, look.
433
00:25:21,720 --> 00:25:25,840
This is not some camping lavatory
where you defecate on a piece of plastic.
434
00:25:26,000 --> 00:25:27,040
Observe.
435
00:25:29,080 --> 00:25:31,040
It's a proper thing.
436
00:25:31,200 --> 00:25:33,520
Well, where does that go?
437
00:25:33,680 --> 00:25:34,920
Underneath the RV.
438
00:25:35,080 --> 00:25:37,000
What,
to like a tank or something?
439
00:25:37,160 --> 00:25:38,320
No, underneath the RV.
440
00:25:39,240 --> 00:25:43,760
What you're going to drive off in your
bathroom leaving behind a mound of turds?
441
00:25:43,960 --> 00:25:44,960
Yes.
442
00:25:49,680 --> 00:25:50,680
Wow!
443
00:25:51,080 --> 00:25:52,120
Oh, I say.
444
00:25:52,280 --> 00:25:54,040
Well, this is wasted space normally,
isn't it?
445
00:25:54,200 --> 00:25:55,185
Exactly.
446
00:25:55,200 --> 00:25:56,960
It's pretty good this, Hammond.
447
00:25:57,120 --> 00:25:58,440
- But hang on a minute.
- What?
448
00:25:58,640 --> 00:26:00,040
This is very impressive, it's very…
449
00:26:03,720 --> 00:26:05,160
Oh, yes!
450
00:26:07,160 --> 00:26:08,640
So, that's something to look forward to.
451
00:26:10,120 --> 00:26:12,160
Yeah, don't let skin
touch anything.
452
00:26:16,520 --> 00:26:20,320
It's big and it needs to move along,
so a truck is the obvious answer.
453
00:26:20,480 --> 00:26:22,360
- What sort of truck is it?
- I don't know. A truck.
454
00:26:23,800 --> 00:26:25,360
Here's the living accommodation.
455
00:26:25,520 --> 00:26:27,760
- What living accommodation?
- There's a bed.
456
00:26:28,440 --> 00:26:29,440
There, bed.
457
00:26:29,520 --> 00:26:31,320
Telescope in case I get bored
in the evening.
458
00:26:32,040 --> 00:26:35,560
And then, rocking chair in case
of visitors and a motorcycle on the back.
459
00:26:36,320 --> 00:26:37,880
- Engine?
- It's got a V8.
460
00:26:38,040 --> 00:26:41,040
- Whose?
- Mine now, I bought the truck.
461
00:26:41,600 --> 00:26:43,400
You have made
no effort whatsoever.
462
00:26:43,560 --> 00:26:45,840
Oh no, now I have,
but I've distilled it down.
463
00:26:46,040 --> 00:26:50,320
I haven't wasted time and effort
on complicated stuff I don't need.
464
00:26:50,520 --> 00:26:51,520
This is honest.
465
00:26:51,600 --> 00:26:53,280
So when you come to mine and say:
"Please Jeremy,
466
00:26:53,440 --> 00:26:54,880
"can I borrow
your lavatory in the morning",
467
00:26:55,040 --> 00:26:57,520
I'm gonna say no,
'cause you accused me of "wasting time".
468
00:26:57,720 --> 00:26:59,920
And if you want to come to my pub
for a drink of your gin,
469
00:27:00,080 --> 00:27:02,760
which I've put on tap specially for you,
I’ll say: "No, it’s a waste of time."
470
00:27:02,920 --> 00:27:05,560
Well, I didn't realise we were
setting up a sort of stock exchange
471
00:27:05,720 --> 00:27:08,400
of resources needed
by the roaming camper.
472
00:27:08,560 --> 00:27:09,640
- Hammond?
- Yes.
473
00:27:09,800 --> 00:27:12,320
Your lorry,
I'm not gonna call it an RV…
474
00:27:12,520 --> 00:27:14,760
- It isn't an RV.
- … is dismal.
475
00:27:14,960 --> 00:27:16,160
God streuth.
476
00:27:18,720 --> 00:27:21,160
At the Rack and Pinion,
it was opening time.
477
00:27:37,200 --> 00:27:38,920
Drop by for a beer later if you like.
478
00:27:45,280 --> 00:27:46,640
It's a bit lively, sir.
479
00:27:47,080 --> 00:27:50,560
I'm sorry, but the pub has been on
the move and rattled around quite a bit.
480
00:27:50,720 --> 00:27:53,520
If you leave that just to settle
for a few minutes.
481
00:27:53,720 --> 00:27:55,360
I'll try a warm brown please.
482
00:27:58,520 --> 00:27:59,520
More foamy?
483
00:27:59,560 --> 00:28:03,200
A little bit foamy. If you'd like
to just let that settle for a bit, sir.
484
00:28:03,640 --> 00:28:05,680
I think I'll go with the Jack Daniel's.
485
00:28:10,360 --> 00:28:12,600
There is a compound there
where you take your dog for a crap.
486
00:28:12,800 --> 00:28:15,400
- Is that a dog lavatory?
- Yes.
487
00:28:15,560 --> 00:28:17,800
My porch overlooks it.
488
00:28:19,080 --> 00:28:22,680
Back at the pub,
James was entertaining his guests
489
00:28:22,880 --> 00:28:24,360
with his conversation.
490
00:28:25,040 --> 00:28:28,120
What you call "warm British beer"
to us is "cellar temperature",
491
00:28:28,280 --> 00:28:32,600
which is not as cold as a refrigerator,
but colder than room temperature.
492
00:28:33,320 --> 00:28:35,040
Right, right, right.
493
00:28:38,160 --> 00:28:39,320
Anybody mind if I have one?
494
00:28:39,480 --> 00:28:41,960
- No, help yourself.
- No.
495
00:28:47,560 --> 00:28:51,520
Since we didn't fancy
another night in a horrible RV park,
496
00:28:52,400 --> 00:28:54,680
and we had all the comforts we needed,
497
00:28:54,840 --> 00:28:58,600
we decided
to freestyle it in the wilderness.
498
00:29:00,600 --> 00:29:01,680
Oh yeah.
499
00:29:02,080 --> 00:29:05,240
Now we are getting
into the great outdoors.
500
00:29:06,000 --> 00:29:09,520
Hammond and May decided to go
"as the crow flies".
501
00:29:12,440 --> 00:29:14,720
Whereas I took the longer route.
502
00:29:16,920 --> 00:29:18,360
On a gentle track.
503
00:29:19,520 --> 00:29:21,440
Oh, this is just heaven.
504
00:29:23,360 --> 00:29:25,880
A lavatory with a flying bridge.
505
00:29:26,680 --> 00:29:28,040
I mean, what I've done here
506
00:29:28,200 --> 00:29:33,000
is I have turned one of the most
dreary driving experiences in the world
507
00:29:33,200 --> 00:29:34,320
into one of the best.
508
00:29:37,080 --> 00:29:40,240
I honestly believe that sometimes,
my genius…
509
00:29:41,320 --> 00:29:43,320
it generates gravity.
510
00:29:45,760 --> 00:29:48,120
Meanwhile, on the rougher route.
511
00:29:55,720 --> 00:29:56,720
Oh, shit!
512
00:30:05,720 --> 00:30:07,760
Wow, shit!
513
00:30:11,320 --> 00:30:13,120
Hammond, your bike's fallen off.
514
00:30:14,640 --> 00:30:16,800
Bloody hell, I'll go back and get it.
515
00:30:16,960 --> 00:30:19,400
I wouldn't bother,
to be honest.
516
00:30:22,400 --> 00:30:24,960
The going wasn't getting
any smoother.
517
00:30:31,920 --> 00:30:32,920
Jesus!
518
00:30:39,720 --> 00:30:43,200
Hammond, my windscreen's
falling out. It's fallen, it's broken.
519
00:30:50,400 --> 00:30:51,480
Oh, dear.
520
00:30:52,240 --> 00:30:54,360
You know you're gonna have
to take the rest of it out, don't you?
521
00:30:55,920 --> 00:30:57,000
Well, you are.
522
00:30:57,160 --> 00:30:59,520
You can't. I mean, that's not…
523
00:31:00,320 --> 00:31:01,760
advisable, is it?
524
00:31:02,240 --> 00:31:03,240
No.
525
00:31:03,960 --> 00:31:05,080
Thank you for your input.
526
00:31:08,280 --> 00:31:12,640
Eventually, all three of us
were reunited at our destination:
527
00:31:14,440 --> 00:31:15,760
Red Lake.
528
00:31:18,040 --> 00:31:20,360
This is like a scene
out of Independence Day.
529
00:31:20,520 --> 00:31:24,160
Jeff Goldblum, Will Smith,
that drunk man.
530
00:31:25,120 --> 00:31:26,120
Yeah, that's pretty much us.
531
00:31:29,920 --> 00:31:31,240
A bit of a bump there.
532
00:31:31,440 --> 00:31:34,000
Jet ski's fallen off.
533
00:31:38,920 --> 00:31:40,200
I probably should tell him,
534
00:31:40,400 --> 00:31:43,040
but my radio's on the seat down there
535
00:31:43,200 --> 00:31:45,520
and it would be irresponsible
to take my hand off the wheel.
536
00:31:45,720 --> 00:31:48,280
Before I tell him about that, I think
I'll help him along with it a bit.
537
00:31:48,440 --> 00:31:49,520
Here we go.
538
00:31:59,280 --> 00:32:02,000
James must have a problem
with his brakes, 'cause he can't stop
539
00:32:02,160 --> 00:32:05,280
and keeps hitting
the back of the jet ski.
540
00:32:07,360 --> 00:32:08,960
Oh, dear, oh, dear.
541
00:32:10,480 --> 00:32:13,360
It doesn't work so well on sand.
542
00:32:18,000 --> 00:32:19,520
Clarkson, your jet ski's fallen off
543
00:32:19,720 --> 00:32:21,480
- just then.
- What?
544
00:32:21,680 --> 00:32:23,880
Slowing it down.
545
00:32:24,080 --> 00:32:25,600
Just easing it down.
546
00:32:27,720 --> 00:32:29,280
- Is it broken?
- Oh yes.
547
00:32:29,480 --> 00:32:31,600
I had to swerve like mad to avoid it.
548
00:32:31,800 --> 00:32:33,080
It's a good job I was behind you.
549
00:32:33,240 --> 00:32:36,400
If there was nobody there to see that,
you could have dragged that for 50 miles.
550
00:32:36,560 --> 00:32:38,640
How long
have I been dragging it for?
551
00:32:38,800 --> 00:32:39,800
20, 30 feet.
552
00:32:41,640 --> 00:32:44,200
Having cut
the ruined jet ski free…
553
00:32:48,240 --> 00:32:51,560
We resumed our journey
across the lake bed.
554
00:32:57,080 --> 00:32:58,920
Gotta open the pub in 10 minutes.
555
00:33:03,320 --> 00:33:05,760
Hey, Priscilla!
Is it nice and breezy up there?
556
00:33:11,440 --> 00:33:15,440
Going for the relaxed,
easy driving style, now.
557
00:33:15,600 --> 00:33:16,600
There it is.
558
00:33:16,680 --> 00:33:19,600
First time I've ever driven
with my feet up, and I like it.
559
00:33:19,800 --> 00:33:22,200
Oh, hell!
560
00:33:22,640 --> 00:33:24,640
Jesus Christ!
561
00:33:24,840 --> 00:33:26,720
Might ease it down a bit.
562
00:33:37,160 --> 00:33:38,280
Shit!
563
00:33:38,480 --> 00:33:42,040
My steering works, but I have no gears
564
00:33:42,760 --> 00:33:45,080
and no throttle and no braking.
565
00:33:46,080 --> 00:33:47,800
I'm gonna have to retake control.
566
00:33:51,360 --> 00:33:52,360
Here we go.
567
00:33:53,480 --> 00:33:54,920
Where's he going?
568
00:33:56,120 --> 00:33:57,960
He's abandoned his steering.
569
00:34:05,760 --> 00:34:07,400
It's jammed!
570
00:34:07,600 --> 00:34:09,640
- What?
- It's jammed.
571
00:34:09,840 --> 00:34:11,600
I can't open the hatch!
572
00:34:11,800 --> 00:34:13,600
Well, I can't open it!
573
00:34:15,600 --> 00:34:17,080
The hatch is jammed.
574
00:34:22,520 --> 00:34:27,080
Guys, could you do
like a pincer movement, okay?
575
00:34:27,240 --> 00:34:29,440
Come alongside me at the same time
576
00:34:29,640 --> 00:34:31,440
and try and slow me down.
577
00:34:33,040 --> 00:34:34,840
Okay, guys, come in!
578
00:34:36,760 --> 00:34:37,800
Roger.
579
00:34:39,520 --> 00:34:42,840
Okay, match my speed, match my speed.
580
00:34:43,000 --> 00:34:44,320
Matching your speed.
581
00:34:47,840 --> 00:34:49,320
Steering in, steering in.
582
00:34:56,640 --> 00:34:58,320
Okay, start the brakes, start to brake.
583
00:34:58,520 --> 00:34:59,840
Braking, braking.
584
00:35:02,040 --> 00:35:04,440
Okay, this is working, this is working.
585
00:35:04,640 --> 00:35:06,240
My fuel tank is just down there, so…
586
00:35:06,400 --> 00:35:07,560
Oh, [bleep]!
587
00:35:08,200 --> 00:35:10,200
Oh, it's worked a bit.
588
00:35:11,000 --> 00:35:13,120
Okay, that's a small accident there.
589
00:35:15,240 --> 00:35:17,400
Bloody hell, that worked, it's stopped!
590
00:35:17,600 --> 00:35:19,400
But now you've gotta get it in neutral.
591
00:35:19,560 --> 00:35:22,160
- Well, how do I get in?
- I don't know!
592
00:35:22,360 --> 00:35:23,880
There's a ladder at the back.
593
00:35:24,080 --> 00:35:26,520
- Go down the ladder.
- We have to shut it down.
594
00:35:26,680 --> 00:35:28,400
It's trying to run away!
595
00:35:28,600 --> 00:35:30,360
I've got my foot hard on the brake.
596
00:35:31,000 --> 00:35:32,840
If we let go, it will take off.
597
00:35:33,800 --> 00:35:36,880
Right, down the back, the window
should be aligned with your flat.
598
00:35:37,040 --> 00:35:38,360
Use a bar stool.
599
00:35:38,560 --> 00:35:40,240
Go to the back, where the windows are.
600
00:35:44,080 --> 00:35:45,840
No, I can't.
601
00:35:46,040 --> 00:35:47,040
What do you mean, you can't?
602
00:35:47,080 --> 00:35:49,240
- I can't do it.
- Put your feet in first.
603
00:35:49,400 --> 00:35:51,160
- Hammond!
- What?
604
00:35:51,360 --> 00:35:53,040
We need Hammond, he's little.
605
00:35:53,240 --> 00:35:55,520
He can't get through the window,
I can't take my foot off the brake.
606
00:35:55,680 --> 00:35:57,440
I hope to God
my handbrake holds,
607
00:35:57,600 --> 00:35:58,960
'cause if it gives out, we've had it.
608
00:35:59,160 --> 00:36:00,680
I can't get through the window.
609
00:36:00,840 --> 00:36:03,360
Go in there, just put it in park.
610
00:36:03,520 --> 00:36:06,440
Turn it off. What are you doing?
611
00:36:06,600 --> 00:36:08,760
Putting that
in to make it easier. Look.
612
00:36:08,920 --> 00:36:11,640
- Oh, right, that was my problem.
- Yeah.
613
00:36:11,800 --> 00:36:14,800
I did that.
614
00:36:14,960 --> 00:36:16,240
Pinched one!
615
00:36:17,480 --> 00:36:19,080
- Right.
- Quick.
616
00:36:23,440 --> 00:36:24,960
Neutral!
617
00:36:25,160 --> 00:36:26,520
Has he done it?
618
00:36:26,720 --> 00:36:28,440
- Yes, he has. Jeez.
- Neutral, I've shut it down.
619
00:36:28,600 --> 00:36:29,640
Well done.
620
00:36:32,440 --> 00:36:34,560
Do they work
like Apple "earpods"?
621
00:36:34,720 --> 00:36:37,160
- You plug the box in and they charge up.
- Yeah.
622
00:36:37,640 --> 00:36:38,840
Except they don't, obviously.
623
00:36:39,040 --> 00:36:40,040
Well, they do.
624
00:36:40,400 --> 00:36:42,800
No, you're using them wrong.
Let me have a look.
625
00:36:42,960 --> 00:36:44,200
Now, be careful with them.
626
00:36:44,400 --> 00:36:46,360
I will be very careful,
because I think you'll find,
627
00:36:46,560 --> 00:36:49,400
if you look at the shape of these,
yeah…
628
00:36:49,560 --> 00:36:51,680
- Is he putting the wrong bit in, is he?
- No, no, no.
629
00:36:51,880 --> 00:36:53,160
These are new. You swallow them.
630
00:36:55,280 --> 00:36:57,440
Just wash them down with a bit of squash.
631
00:36:58,560 --> 00:36:59,760
And then, they work.
632
00:37:00,320 --> 00:37:02,760
Oh, I've just thought
633
00:37:03,320 --> 00:37:05,960
of one thing we built that did work.
634
00:37:06,440 --> 00:37:07,440
John.
635
00:37:14,400 --> 00:37:15,560
That's a chopper.
636
00:37:16,640 --> 00:37:18,280
- There, look.
- Yep.
637
00:37:28,920 --> 00:37:30,520
- Wow.
- Look at that.
638
00:37:31,080 --> 00:37:32,400
What's he dropping?
639
00:37:38,640 --> 00:37:41,520
- So that's him gone, then.
- He's not landing.
640
00:37:42,120 --> 00:37:43,120
No.
641
00:37:43,360 --> 00:37:46,560
And we're alone with three boxes
full of quiche or something.
642
00:37:46,760 --> 00:37:47,960
Well, let's go and have a look then.
643
00:37:49,600 --> 00:37:50,600
That's it.
644
00:37:51,640 --> 00:37:52,640
Stand clear.
645
00:37:54,720 --> 00:37:56,240
- What's in…
- The hell…
646
00:37:56,840 --> 00:37:58,640
Oh, shit, is that an engine?
647
00:37:59,880 --> 00:38:01,000
That's an engine.
648
00:38:04,560 --> 00:38:06,320
- That is a rear axle.
- It is.
649
00:38:07,640 --> 00:38:09,760
- That's a master cylinder.
- Guys.
650
00:38:10,280 --> 00:38:11,840
I don't need to look in the other one.
651
00:38:12,040 --> 00:38:13,800
There's enough spare parts
to build a car.
652
00:38:16,320 --> 00:38:17,800
- Oh, come on.
- Yeah.
653
00:38:19,560 --> 00:38:20,720
What's that?
654
00:38:25,760 --> 00:38:27,520
- That's the town, then.
- Moron.
655
00:38:27,680 --> 00:38:29,800
- And that's the start.
- We're here.
656
00:38:30,520 --> 00:38:33,440
- It says "Map not to scale".
- There's a surprise.
657
00:38:33,640 --> 00:38:34,640
That's not very useful, is it?
658
00:38:34,800 --> 00:38:36,320
Well, we've got to go northeast,
haven't we?
659
00:38:36,480 --> 00:38:39,680
- But how far is that?
- We don't know. Says hundreds of miles.
660
00:38:45,160 --> 00:38:49,160
Eventually,
the giant Airfix kit was laid out.
661
00:38:50,160 --> 00:38:51,320
- There.
- Yep.
662
00:38:53,360 --> 00:38:55,160
Push forwards. Yes.
663
00:38:55,320 --> 00:38:56,800
Well done.
664
00:38:57,880 --> 00:39:01,440
- It is on its own wheels! Look at that.
- Rolling chassis, wow.
665
00:39:02,120 --> 00:39:04,160
- This is the canopy fixing kit.
- That's the one.
666
00:39:05,120 --> 00:39:08,080
James and Richard
then cracked on with the oily stuff…
667
00:39:09,000 --> 00:39:10,000
Yes.
668
00:39:11,160 --> 00:39:13,920
And since it didn't require
any actual skill,
669
00:39:14,120 --> 00:39:16,400
I was allowed to help make the body.
670
00:39:21,080 --> 00:39:22,600
I have made a door!
671
00:39:22,760 --> 00:39:25,000
You have.
That is a door. Brilliant.
672
00:39:25,160 --> 00:39:27,680
I am a manufacturer of doors!
673
00:39:29,640 --> 00:39:33,320
Our car was finally finished.
674
00:39:41,520 --> 00:39:42,520
Here we go.
675
00:39:44,400 --> 00:39:45,400
Yes!
676
00:39:47,040 --> 00:39:49,360
- Oh, my God, it works!
- Good, okay right.
677
00:39:49,560 --> 00:39:51,240
Oh, James, important thing.
678
00:39:51,440 --> 00:39:55,560
In Mongolia, when you start on a journey,
you have to turn right.
679
00:39:55,760 --> 00:39:57,400
- Is that true?
- Yes, that is true.
680
00:39:57,560 --> 00:39:59,640
- Is that a thing?
- Yeah, it is genuinely a thing.
681
00:39:59,800 --> 00:40:02,120
Every time.
If you begin a journey, you go right.
682
00:40:02,280 --> 00:40:04,480
- Right, here we go.
- This is it.
683
00:40:06,320 --> 00:40:08,280
- Right, James. Right, right, right!
- Right, right, right!
684
00:40:09,040 --> 00:40:11,080
- Right.
- That's a rut or something.
685
00:40:12,640 --> 00:40:14,760
James, you can't…
You're going left!
686
00:40:15,560 --> 00:40:17,640
Hang on, the wheels are t… Eh?
687
00:40:17,800 --> 00:40:20,680
Just turn it. Okay, go left.
And now set off.
688
00:40:21,200 --> 00:40:24,120
The steering's back-to-front,
Hammond. How have we done that?
689
00:40:24,640 --> 00:40:25,640
What do you mean,
it's "back-to-front"?
690
00:40:25,680 --> 00:40:27,080
Well, look, I'm turning left.
691
00:40:27,240 --> 00:40:30,200
No, you're not, You're going
straight, turn it the other way then.
692
00:40:30,360 --> 00:40:31,440
The other way that's straight.
693
00:40:31,600 --> 00:40:33,560
And now,
I'm turning right and it's going left.
694
00:40:33,720 --> 00:40:34,960
So I need to keep…
695
00:40:35,160 --> 00:40:37,720
What have you two been doing
for the last two days?
696
00:40:37,880 --> 00:40:41,360
We've put the hydraulic pipes
on the wrong way round for the steering.
697
00:40:42,960 --> 00:40:44,880
Having fixed this minor issue,
698
00:40:45,760 --> 00:40:47,920
we set off… again.
699
00:40:51,680 --> 00:40:54,120
It works!
And we're going along.
700
00:40:58,080 --> 00:41:00,120
Our car is great.
701
00:41:01,960 --> 00:41:04,240
- The ride is good.
- It's not bad, is it?
702
00:41:04,400 --> 00:41:06,120
It's genuinely brilliant.
703
00:41:09,520 --> 00:41:11,600
- Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
- Wait a minute.
704
00:41:11,800 --> 00:41:13,520
- Wow.
- Oh, my God!
705
00:41:16,360 --> 00:41:17,520
That's the Sandy Bit.
706
00:41:17,720 --> 00:41:19,280
That's massive!
707
00:41:23,480 --> 00:41:25,240
It would be the first real test
708
00:41:25,440 --> 00:41:28,680
for our hastily built homemade car.
709
00:41:28,880 --> 00:41:31,000
That's what I meant,
that's what I meant.
710
00:41:37,960 --> 00:41:39,000
It's gonna go!
711
00:41:39,200 --> 00:41:40,200
Yes.
712
00:41:40,600 --> 00:41:42,680
That worked!
713
00:41:45,360 --> 00:41:48,040
What the temperature is doing
is plummeting.
714
00:41:48,240 --> 00:41:49,720
Where's the heater?
715
00:41:49,920 --> 00:41:51,880
- Ah. There isn't one.
- Yes.
716
00:41:52,040 --> 00:41:53,080
Oh, come on.
717
00:41:53,280 --> 00:41:55,120
You can thank Mr. Wilman for that one.
718
00:41:55,280 --> 00:41:56,320
Bump.
719
00:42:10,440 --> 00:42:12,760
I tell you
what I thought of in the night.
720
00:42:12,920 --> 00:42:13,865
Yes?
721
00:42:13,880 --> 00:42:16,360
We should give
our vehicle a name.
722
00:42:16,560 --> 00:42:20,280
I thought about that.
I came up with Genghis Car.
723
00:42:20,440 --> 00:42:21,840
That's really good!
724
00:42:22,000 --> 00:42:23,360
Not bad, is it?
725
00:42:23,560 --> 00:42:27,800
The only slight problem with it
is Genghis was quite a big murderer.
726
00:42:28,000 --> 00:42:29,360
Let's not name it after him, then.
727
00:42:29,560 --> 00:42:33,080
- John.
- John's a good solid name, I like it.
728
00:42:33,280 --> 00:42:34,640
It's honest, it's unpretentious.
729
00:42:34,840 --> 00:42:36,160
Dependable people are called John.
730
00:42:36,360 --> 00:42:37,640
- Yes.
- John Lewis.
731
00:42:38,880 --> 00:42:40,800
- That is a dependable shop.
- Isn't it?
732
00:42:41,000 --> 00:42:42,320
Yeah, exactly, because it's called John.
733
00:42:49,400 --> 00:42:54,920
That looks a lot steeper from here
than it did from back there.
734
00:42:58,800 --> 00:43:01,560
- You got it, you got it, yes!
- Come on, John.
735
00:43:01,760 --> 00:43:02,920
- Wow!
- Come on.
736
00:43:03,120 --> 00:43:06,040
He's hopping up this hill
like a rabbit.
737
00:43:06,560 --> 00:43:08,800
That is a remarkable sight.
738
00:43:12,720 --> 00:43:15,160
What a machine you are, John!
739
00:43:17,600 --> 00:43:18,680
Good.
740
00:43:24,360 --> 00:43:26,760
- Yeah!
- That's amazing.
741
00:43:26,920 --> 00:43:30,440
John, the mountaineer of many places,
742
00:43:30,600 --> 00:43:33,320
has shaken his own brake pedal off,
743
00:43:33,480 --> 00:43:34,960
but has made it!
744
00:43:35,160 --> 00:43:38,520
That's the first car ever
to pogo up a hill.
745
00:43:50,080 --> 00:43:53,440
We eventually arrived
at the Bumpy Meadow,
746
00:43:53,600 --> 00:43:55,440
which didn't sound too bad.
747
00:43:55,600 --> 00:43:56,600
However…
748
00:44:02,880 --> 00:44:04,080
Proper bumpy.
749
00:44:09,680 --> 00:44:10,680
We'll get a smooth bit, smooth.
750
00:44:11,720 --> 00:44:14,120
Gentlemen, enjoy this moment.
751
00:44:15,040 --> 00:44:16,560
I'm afraid it's over.
752
00:44:24,840 --> 00:44:26,680
This is raining quite heavily now.
753
00:44:28,240 --> 00:44:31,520
What's happening above me here, look?
It's…
754
00:44:31,680 --> 00:44:32,680
Above you?
755
00:44:36,880 --> 00:44:38,400
Oh, dear, oh, dear.
756
00:44:38,560 --> 00:44:42,520
Well, James, I'm afraid,
ladies and gentlemen, has wet himself.
757
00:44:44,080 --> 00:44:45,640
You need to work on that.
758
00:44:55,160 --> 00:44:56,440
- Oh, my God.
- Oh oh oh!
759
00:44:57,120 --> 00:44:58,120
Oh, dear.
760
00:44:58,320 --> 00:44:59,640
Can we just see that on that camera?
761
00:44:59,840 --> 00:45:02,600
That's our camera tracking car.
762
00:45:02,800 --> 00:45:04,840
- It's stuck. Are we stuck?
- John isn't.
763
00:45:05,000 --> 00:45:06,160
- No.
- John is not stuck.
764
00:45:06,360 --> 00:45:09,440
Oh, here we go.
In three, two, one,
765
00:45:09,640 --> 00:45:11,400
dump that clutch.
Dump it.
766
00:45:14,400 --> 00:45:16,960
- And we're free! John!
- John has done it.
767
00:45:17,120 --> 00:45:18,760
John has succeeded!
768
00:45:18,920 --> 00:45:23,720
John has pulled the mass-produced
Toyota Land Cruiser
769
00:45:23,920 --> 00:45:25,520
out of the mire!
770
00:45:25,720 --> 00:45:29,320
Here's the message we're giving you all:
buy Mongolian!
771
00:45:42,000 --> 00:45:43,400
Slow down!
772
00:45:43,600 --> 00:45:46,160
It's fine. This is an off-roader.
773
00:45:47,000 --> 00:45:49,360
It will go, it will…
Oh, that's not supposed…
774
00:45:49,560 --> 00:45:50,640
I can save this.
775
00:45:51,640 --> 00:45:52,680
He's rolled it.
776
00:45:52,880 --> 00:45:54,120
It's all right,
I'm used to this!
777
00:46:00,480 --> 00:46:01,920
Okay, and we're…
778
00:46:02,120 --> 00:46:03,560
John is wading!
779
00:46:03,760 --> 00:46:08,000
Wow, that's a glacial run-off,
and it's unbelievably cold!
780
00:46:08,200 --> 00:46:10,040
Whoa, that's…oh no.
781
00:46:10,240 --> 00:46:12,800
Okay, James,
I now have a freezing starfish.
782
00:46:13,000 --> 00:46:14,640
It's all the way up to my arse.
783
00:46:18,160 --> 00:46:19,320
Here we go.
This is good, this is good.
784
00:46:25,200 --> 00:46:26,840
That's it. Left hand down.
785
00:46:27,920 --> 00:46:28,920
We've nearly done it.
786
00:46:31,400 --> 00:46:33,640
- John can swim.
- I'm staggered.
787
00:46:33,840 --> 00:46:36,120
- Yeah, John!
- I am staggered.
788
00:46:54,760 --> 00:46:57,720
Honestly, have you ever seen
an off-roader like that?
789
00:46:58,440 --> 00:46:59,800
What a machine.
790
00:47:04,600 --> 00:47:06,360
This is his hardest work yet.
791
00:47:13,080 --> 00:47:16,160
I can't believe what
he's capable of off-road, I'm staggered.
792
00:47:16,360 --> 00:47:18,920
I have genuinely never seen
a better off-road car than this.
793
00:47:19,080 --> 00:47:20,065
No, it's astonishing.
794
00:47:20,080 --> 00:47:23,880
I think NATO will be ordering
20,000 of these when they see this.
795
00:47:28,680 --> 00:47:30,040
It hasn't been easy, has it?
796
00:47:30,240 --> 00:47:32,320
- It really hasn't.
- It really hasn't.
797
00:47:32,520 --> 00:47:34,840
That's why Mongolia has just been
798
00:47:35,520 --> 00:47:37,800
a constant source of wonderment,
799
00:47:37,960 --> 00:47:41,000
the actual business
of getting across it has been,
800
00:47:41,200 --> 00:47:42,145
by far and away,
801
00:47:42,160 --> 00:47:47,560
the most difficult, gruelling,
arduous journey we've ever done.
802
00:47:48,640 --> 00:47:49,920
Fact is, though,
803
00:47:50,640 --> 00:47:53,720
we couldn't have done
any of that without John.
804
00:47:53,920 --> 00:47:56,480
- No. He's been incredible.
- Look.
805
00:47:58,880 --> 00:47:59,880
Oh, my God.
806
00:48:00,080 --> 00:48:02,680
I've never wanted to arrive
anywhere more than just there.
807
00:48:02,840 --> 00:48:05,760
Here we go, and as we go
past the sign, we're officially there.
808
00:48:05,920 --> 00:48:07,680
We're arriving! We are here!
809
00:48:12,520 --> 00:48:15,400
- We're in Moron!
- Hello, Moron, we love you!
810
00:48:15,560 --> 00:48:16,560
Hello, Moron!
811
00:48:20,720 --> 00:48:22,880
Think I'm right in saying
812
00:48:23,080 --> 00:48:25,240
that in all the years we worked together,
813
00:48:25,720 --> 00:48:28,960
the most amount of questions I ever had
814
00:48:29,560 --> 00:48:31,480
- about a car was John.
- Yeah.
815
00:48:31,680 --> 00:48:34,440
Probably even thousands of people
have said to me over the years:
816
00:48:34,600 --> 00:48:36,760
"What happened to John",
and it is the saddest story.
817
00:48:36,960 --> 00:48:40,120
There was
some complicated tax reason that…
818
00:48:40,280 --> 00:48:44,040
- Because we'd built the car in Mongolia.
- Yes.
819
00:48:44,240 --> 00:48:45,960
It would count as an export or something.
820
00:48:46,160 --> 00:48:47,480
If we'd brought it out,
it would be an ex…
821
00:48:47,640 --> 00:48:49,600
And it was just the most difficult.
822
00:48:49,800 --> 00:48:52,400
It was very complicated.
It was easier just to shoot him.
823
00:48:52,560 --> 00:48:54,640
- Well, it wasn't.
- Kill him.
824
00:48:54,840 --> 00:48:58,080
Yes, brutally. Yes, you're right,
that's exactly what happened,
825
00:48:58,240 --> 00:49:01,080
but no, it was sad,
because, you know, we really…
826
00:49:01,240 --> 00:49:03,680
John did worm his way
into all of our hearts.
827
00:49:03,840 --> 00:49:06,160
It was very sad
that just to keep the taxman happy
828
00:49:06,320 --> 00:49:07,560
he had to be disassembled
829
00:49:07,720 --> 00:49:09,640
and put on the scrap heap.
830
00:49:09,840 --> 00:49:13,720
How many cars I've brought back
from The Grand Tour shootings and kept?
831
00:49:13,920 --> 00:49:15,840
Got the Lincoln from Scotland.
832
00:49:16,040 --> 00:49:18,080
- The Alfa GTV6.
- Yeah.
833
00:49:18,560 --> 00:49:23,200
I've got the Buick Riviera Boat-tail,
I kept that.
834
00:49:23,400 --> 00:49:25,920
- Subaru, kept that.
- Martin?
835
00:49:26,120 --> 00:49:27,200
- Martin, yeah.
- You kept Martin?
836
00:49:27,360 --> 00:49:28,305
Kept Martin, yeah.
837
00:49:28,320 --> 00:49:30,960
Chevrolet SSR, because everybody needs
838
00:49:31,120 --> 00:49:33,400
- a convertible two-seater pickup.
- They do.
839
00:49:33,600 --> 00:49:35,360
- Er…
- Have you got Annie?
840
00:49:35,560 --> 00:49:37,280
Yeah, I've got the beach buggy.
841
00:49:37,440 --> 00:49:38,880
I remember you keeping that.
842
00:49:39,040 --> 00:49:40,400
And the Triumph Stag.
843
00:49:40,560 --> 00:49:42,640
The Stag? Oh, my Lancia, yeah.
844
00:49:42,800 --> 00:49:44,440
I've still got my Capri.
845
00:49:45,240 --> 00:49:47,000
The only one I actually use,
I think, on a pretty much…
846
00:49:47,160 --> 00:49:50,000
well not certainly week to week basis,
is the GTV6.
847
00:49:50,200 --> 00:49:51,200
I use the beach buggy.
848
00:49:51,360 --> 00:49:52,360
- Do you?
- Mmm.
849
00:49:52,560 --> 00:49:54,480
I use my Subaru regularly,
850
00:49:54,640 --> 00:49:57,400
but I am terrified for my licence.
851
00:49:57,600 --> 00:49:59,120
You don't need a driving licence anymore.
852
00:49:59,320 --> 00:50:01,560
- Do we not?
- Mobility scooter
853
00:50:01,760 --> 00:50:03,360
- from here to the canteen.
- Yeah, it works.
854
00:50:03,520 --> 00:50:05,920
And this
to come back here again.
855
00:50:06,120 --> 00:50:09,280
I'll tell you what I'd like to talk about
at this stage, if I may.
856
00:50:09,480 --> 00:50:11,800
I know this is a subject
close to your heart, James.
857
00:50:11,960 --> 00:50:12,960
Drag races.
858
00:50:13,000 --> 00:50:14,640
- Yes.
- We've done a lot.
859
00:50:14,840 --> 00:50:16,680
Many, and it's important to remember,
860
00:50:16,840 --> 00:50:19,080
drag races are not just cocking about.
861
00:50:19,280 --> 00:50:20,640
They are science.
862
00:50:20,800 --> 00:50:24,920
And an art form,
because every drag race tells a story.
863
00:50:25,120 --> 00:50:29,240
Yes, and the story is:
which of these cars is the fastest?
864
00:50:29,800 --> 00:50:31,880
That's the synopsis, yes.
865
00:50:40,080 --> 00:50:43,080
So, what I'm thinking is here,
866
00:50:43,480 --> 00:50:44,960
when the lights go green,
867
00:50:45,120 --> 00:50:47,120
what's a quarter of a mile,
just beyond the church?
868
00:50:47,320 --> 00:50:49,040
- Yeah, something like that.
- Perfect.
869
00:50:49,240 --> 00:50:50,185
What if the police come?
870
00:50:50,200 --> 00:50:52,400
He won't, he's in Beverly Hills,
I've seen the movie.
871
00:50:52,560 --> 00:50:56,520
Why can't we just do this on a racetrack
or a runway like we usually do?
872
00:50:56,680 --> 00:50:58,640
Because we're here to prove
that this is a racetrack.
873
00:50:58,800 --> 00:51:01,920
Detroit is empty now and should
just be used for this sort of thing.
874
00:51:02,120 --> 00:51:04,240
Yes, but it isn't an actual racetrack.
875
00:51:04,400 --> 00:51:05,400
No, it is.
876
00:51:05,520 --> 00:51:08,000
- This is where the muscle car was born.
- We can't do it.
877
00:51:08,160 --> 00:51:10,480
- Why can't you do it?
- Dodge only lent me that car
878
00:51:10,640 --> 00:51:13,440
if I promised not to do
any drag racing on the road with it.
879
00:51:13,600 --> 00:51:15,760
What? That's what it's for.
880
00:51:15,920 --> 00:51:16,920
I know, I know.
881
00:51:17,000 --> 00:51:18,360
- That's literally what it's for.
- Yes, I know,
882
00:51:18,560 --> 00:51:19,840
but that's the way it is, I'm sorry.
883
00:51:20,600 --> 00:51:21,600
Do you think it's an insurance?
884
00:51:21,800 --> 00:51:22,840
It is, it's because it's him.
885
00:51:23,000 --> 00:51:24,480
- No.
- It's because it's you.
886
00:51:24,680 --> 00:51:25,920
"Who's driving it?"
"Richard Hammond."
887
00:51:26,120 --> 00:51:28,200
- "You can't drive it."
- It's just what they said
888
00:51:28,360 --> 00:51:30,640
and I'm really sorry,
so we can't do it, I'm sorry.
889
00:51:30,800 --> 00:51:31,800
We can.
890
00:51:39,520 --> 00:51:41,120
Air con is off.
891
00:52:04,320 --> 00:52:05,720
May got a good start.
892
00:52:11,720 --> 00:52:13,560
Come on, come on,
come on, come on!
893
00:52:13,760 --> 00:52:15,600
It's only a one car length in it.
894
00:52:16,960 --> 00:52:18,120
Easy.
895
00:52:19,120 --> 00:52:20,360
Bloody Nora, that was close.
896
00:52:20,520 --> 00:52:21,560
But I got a terrible start.
897
00:52:21,760 --> 00:52:22,920
So we gotta do it again, May.
898
00:52:27,160 --> 00:52:28,960
I'm in first gear.
899
00:52:34,800 --> 00:52:35,800
Wow!
900
00:52:40,480 --> 00:52:42,400
I can't do it! It's spinning its wheels.
901
00:52:48,480 --> 00:52:51,880
You do know
you're both too old for this, don't you?
902
00:52:52,080 --> 00:52:55,520
For driving muscle cars
up and down the public roads of Detroit
903
00:52:55,720 --> 00:52:57,600
because nobody else is using them?
904
00:52:58,120 --> 00:53:00,240
Well, Richard Hammond
certainly isn't using them.
905
00:53:03,200 --> 00:53:07,680
Since it was one all and we were
having enormous fun annoying Hammond,
906
00:53:08,560 --> 00:53:10,120
we decided to go again.
907
00:53:10,840 --> 00:53:14,880
I gave him my word
I wouldn't use launch control.
908
00:53:15,040 --> 00:53:18,240
And I'm simply going
to go back on that and not tell him.
909
00:53:24,880 --> 00:53:26,360
That was a good gear change.
910
00:53:26,520 --> 00:53:29,360
So was that,
but there's just nothing I can do
911
00:53:29,960 --> 00:53:32,960
to get up
with that thousand-horsepower monster.
912
00:53:42,000 --> 00:53:43,040
Okay, this is it.
913
00:53:43,240 --> 00:53:46,320
The race between good and evil.
914
00:53:46,520 --> 00:53:47,800
Are we ready, gentlemen?
915
00:53:48,400 --> 00:53:50,280
- We ready?
- No!
916
00:53:52,720 --> 00:53:53,920
What's happening?
917
00:53:54,080 --> 00:53:55,960
I've got a couple of things
to do before we start.
918
00:53:56,920 --> 00:53:59,240
Are you saying you can't just
drag race this now?
919
00:53:59,400 --> 00:54:02,080
You've gotta do it properly,
this is a proper drag racing car.
920
00:54:03,120 --> 00:54:04,640
What is he doing?
921
00:54:04,840 --> 00:54:06,520
This is what you get
when you buy a Demon.
922
00:54:06,680 --> 00:54:09,640
Costs you an extra dollar
and you get this crate.
923
00:54:13,000 --> 00:54:15,120
It's like a picnic hamper for men.
924
00:54:15,280 --> 00:54:18,560
Then, underneath, and to either side,
I've got boxes with the new EC,
925
00:54:18,720 --> 00:54:19,920
I've got everything I need.
926
00:54:20,080 --> 00:54:21,640
- ECU?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
927
00:54:23,040 --> 00:54:24,240
Look at that.
928
00:54:29,560 --> 00:54:32,400
He's got this enormous crate
929
00:54:32,560 --> 00:54:34,800
and some bags and tins,
930
00:54:35,640 --> 00:54:37,120
full of tools.
931
00:54:37,280 --> 00:54:39,640
With two space savers and…
932
00:54:39,800 --> 00:54:40,840
Space saver wheels?
933
00:54:41,040 --> 00:54:42,040
Hang on.
934
00:54:42,480 --> 00:54:44,440
Why are you putting space savers on it?
935
00:54:44,600 --> 00:54:46,640
They're drag racing tyres,
they're lighter.
936
00:54:46,800 --> 00:54:49,040
I don't need grip at the front, do I?
They've just gotta steer.
937
00:54:50,560 --> 00:54:52,720
What else does he have to do,
apart from change the wheels?
938
00:54:52,920 --> 00:54:55,840
Er, he's got a new ECU to fit.
939
00:54:56,000 --> 00:54:57,840
- He's… that… You serious?
- Yes.
940
00:54:58,040 --> 00:55:00,440
So it's not really
a drag racing car at all.
941
00:55:00,840 --> 00:55:03,960
It will be
once he's completely rebuilt it.
942
00:55:04,160 --> 00:55:08,400
I've gotta take back tyre pressure
down to 20 psi.
943
00:55:08,560 --> 00:55:11,400
Nice, fat, squishy contact patch.
944
00:55:17,240 --> 00:55:19,360
Exactly 25 minutes so far
945
00:55:19,520 --> 00:55:21,720
it's taken him to do
his quarter-mile run.
946
00:55:22,840 --> 00:55:25,080
Oh, so this is where it breathes
through its eye.
947
00:55:25,240 --> 00:55:27,560
Look at that.
That goes at the back of its eye, look!
948
00:55:29,480 --> 00:55:30,480
So…
949
00:55:31,680 --> 00:55:33,960
Hammond, that is a significant component.
What is it?
950
00:55:34,120 --> 00:55:35,200
Air filter.
951
00:55:35,360 --> 00:55:36,800
Does it not have an air filter?
952
00:55:37,000 --> 00:55:39,560
Yeah, but this is a performance one,
it's gonna gulp through air.
953
00:55:45,760 --> 00:55:46,760
Right, so that's it, good.
954
00:55:46,920 --> 00:55:48,960
Yep, now I've gotta do the ECU.
955
00:55:49,160 --> 00:55:51,720
Which goes in here, I believe.
I'll have to take that out, I think.
956
00:55:51,920 --> 00:55:55,520
So he's now got a different ECU
just telling the engine to be powerful.
957
00:55:56,040 --> 00:55:57,920
Right, why didn't they just
put that one in from the start?
958
00:55:58,080 --> 00:55:59,080
Oh God…
959
00:55:59,680 --> 00:56:03,320
He's now refuelling his car
with a special… How many octane?
960
00:56:03,520 --> 00:56:07,120
It's ethanol and gasoline mixture,
er… 104.
961
00:56:08,360 --> 00:56:10,880
After the refuelling,
we hoped he was done.
962
00:56:11,960 --> 00:56:13,000
But no.
963
00:56:13,560 --> 00:56:15,360
Right, hang on a minute,
I've gotta put it in neutral
964
00:56:15,520 --> 00:56:16,800
to get that in the middle.
965
00:56:17,000 --> 00:56:18,880
Hammond,
you're taking the whole dashboard off.
966
00:56:19,080 --> 00:56:22,240
Yeah, this has to come out, 'cause I'm
gonna put in a new control panel here.
967
00:56:22,440 --> 00:56:23,800
I get a new button on it.
968
00:56:24,400 --> 00:56:27,520
He's taking the whole centre console out,
the whole of that.
969
00:56:27,680 --> 00:56:29,840
He's had to put it in neutral
to lift it all off.
970
00:56:30,640 --> 00:56:33,120
- What for?
- Because you can then fit a button,
971
00:56:33,280 --> 00:56:37,600
that enables him to select
what sort of fuel he's running on.
972
00:56:37,760 --> 00:56:40,240
Why don't they just put that in
from the start?
973
00:56:40,440 --> 00:56:44,840
So this all goes back in here,
with my new switch gear in.
974
00:56:45,040 --> 00:56:47,000
It's an hour and seven minutes.
975
00:56:47,200 --> 00:56:49,600
Actually, you're right, it is.
It's over an hour now.
976
00:56:50,000 --> 00:56:51,120
God.
977
00:56:52,320 --> 00:56:53,640
There we go.
978
00:56:56,120 --> 00:56:59,080
Finally,
the rebuild of the Demon was complete.
979
00:57:00,480 --> 00:57:03,680
And it was time for the drivers
to warm their tyres.
980
00:57:04,360 --> 00:57:07,800
In three, two, one, burn out!
981
00:57:22,280 --> 00:57:23,480
Right, your tyres are warm.
982
00:57:23,640 --> 00:57:25,200
Are you now ready?
983
00:57:25,400 --> 00:57:26,345
What?
984
00:57:26,360 --> 00:57:28,360
Are you ready
to come to the start line?
985
00:57:28,560 --> 00:57:29,920
- No!
- What do you mean, no?
986
00:57:30,080 --> 00:57:32,160
No, that was just
a celebratory burnout.
987
00:57:32,360 --> 00:57:34,040
- Oh, jeez, he's got out.
- I've done all the building work,
988
00:57:34,240 --> 00:57:35,760
now I've gotta set the car up.
989
00:57:35,960 --> 00:57:38,320
I've gotta get in the right modes,
there's stuff to do, mate.
990
00:57:38,520 --> 00:57:40,000
Oh, I've had enough.
I'm sorry, I've had enough.
991
00:57:40,480 --> 00:57:41,480
Bye.
992
00:57:42,840 --> 00:57:44,680
We're never gonna do this.
993
00:57:45,640 --> 00:57:47,000
So, I need to go into drag.
994
00:57:47,480 --> 00:57:49,280
Drag mode activating. Excellent.
995
00:57:49,480 --> 00:57:51,120
Drag transmission, drag traction, power.
996
00:57:51,600 --> 00:57:53,960
So power needs to go up
997
00:57:54,400 --> 00:57:55,720
to 840.
998
00:57:55,880 --> 00:57:57,120
We are now in high octane.
999
00:57:58,800 --> 00:58:01,320
Finally, we were ready to go.
1000
00:58:05,080 --> 00:58:06,960
I'm gonna bust your ass,
evil boy.
1001
00:58:08,200 --> 00:58:09,360
Oh, yes.
1002
00:58:30,520 --> 00:58:32,760
I'm getting ahead!
I think I'm getting ahead!
1003
00:58:32,960 --> 00:58:34,640
Come on, Demon!
1004
00:58:42,080 --> 00:58:44,120
So annoying.
1005
00:58:51,000 --> 00:58:53,960
Evil wins! Evil wins!
1006
00:59:01,560 --> 00:59:03,400
What the French
are building here
1007
00:59:03,600 --> 00:59:06,360
is a ring road in the sea.
1008
00:59:07,680 --> 00:59:11,200
Designed to cope with 30-foot waves
and win votes,
1009
00:59:11,360 --> 00:59:14,160
this engineering masterpiece
1010
00:59:14,360 --> 00:59:18,400
cost £112 million per kilometre
1011
00:59:18,600 --> 00:59:20,440
and it's 12 kilometres long.
1012
00:59:20,600 --> 00:59:24,880
It is, then,
the most expensive piece of tarmac
1013
00:59:25,480 --> 00:59:26,720
in the world.
1014
00:59:32,040 --> 00:59:36,000
I was just thinking
this incredibly expensive,
1015
00:59:36,200 --> 00:59:38,080
mind-bogglingly
complicated stretch of road
1016
00:59:38,240 --> 00:59:39,800
could serve a useful purpose.
1017
00:59:40,000 --> 00:59:41,320
Mm. Mm.
1018
00:59:41,520 --> 00:59:42,720
And so…
1019
00:59:50,960 --> 00:59:52,600
I don't really know
how to call this, to be honest.
1020
00:59:52,760 --> 00:59:55,840
I've got the least power,
but I've got the least weight.
1021
00:59:56,040 --> 00:59:59,480
Hammond and I both have
turbo-charging and four-wheel drive
1022
00:59:59,640 --> 01:00:02,520
and you don't want either of those things
in a drag race.
1023
01:00:03,280 --> 01:00:05,440
He, however, has got launch control.
1024
01:00:05,640 --> 01:00:08,200
Not that he knows how it works,
I should imagine.
1025
01:00:08,400 --> 01:00:11,200
"Trip…
I don't want trip. Settings."
1026
01:00:13,600 --> 01:00:14,600
"Driver assist."
1027
01:00:15,760 --> 01:00:16,760
"Launch control."
1028
01:00:17,800 --> 01:00:20,000
So it's…
Oh no, it's cut out. Wait.
1029
01:00:20,200 --> 01:00:22,440
Hammond's launch control is…
1030
01:00:22,960 --> 01:00:24,560
- Really?
- Yes.
1031
01:00:24,720 --> 01:00:28,680
Launch control is troublesome?
That's odd, because he's so useful at…
1032
01:00:28,840 --> 01:00:30,600
- What's that do?
- Leave it.
1033
01:00:31,720 --> 01:00:33,880
- What is it?
- You know what it is.
1034
01:00:34,040 --> 01:00:35,200
- I don't know what it is.
- Stop being an arse.
1035
01:00:35,360 --> 01:00:37,040
Why is the ignition key
on the outside?
1036
01:00:37,200 --> 01:00:38,560
It's in case you have a crash.
1037
01:00:39,080 --> 01:00:41,600
It's really annoying.
Mustn't lose that.
1038
01:00:48,240 --> 01:00:50,240
When James
had reassembled his car
1039
01:00:50,440 --> 01:00:52,560
and Richard had sorted out his tech,
1040
01:00:53,320 --> 01:00:55,040
we were ready to go.
1041
01:00:56,200 --> 01:00:58,520
This Frenchman in the yellow vest…
1042
01:00:58,920 --> 01:01:00,360
is he going to start the race,
do you think,
1043
01:01:00,520 --> 01:01:02,240
or throw a petrol bomb at me?
1044
01:01:09,200 --> 01:01:11,720
Three, two, one.
1045
01:01:12,920 --> 01:01:13,920
Bloody hell!
1046
01:01:16,120 --> 01:01:17,760
They got a better start.
1047
01:01:18,760 --> 01:01:20,520
Second, I'm rowing it through
as quickly as I can.
1048
01:01:20,720 --> 01:01:21,800
I am in front.
1049
01:01:22,760 --> 01:01:25,080
It's only 152 horsepower.
1050
01:01:26,360 --> 01:01:29,160
Now time to deploy the speed and power.
1051
01:01:29,800 --> 01:01:31,080
Bit late on that shift.
1052
01:01:31,280 --> 01:01:32,360
Oh, I'm sorry.
1053
01:01:32,560 --> 01:01:34,400
Stay… Oh, goddamn it!
1054
01:01:38,560 --> 01:01:40,560
I'm losing. I'm losing.
1055
01:01:40,760 --> 01:01:42,120
I'm the first person
to lose on this road.
1056
01:01:45,200 --> 01:01:49,280
The inaugural Réunion
coastal road drag race
1057
01:01:49,880 --> 01:01:53,560
was just ripped into by the Bentley.
1058
01:01:54,080 --> 01:01:55,320
Is it the face?
1059
01:01:55,880 --> 01:01:56,960
Is it the face?
1060
01:01:58,040 --> 01:01:59,120
Yeah, it's the face.
1061
01:01:59,320 --> 01:02:00,360
It's the face.
1062
01:02:16,400 --> 01:02:18,280
Track, check.
1063
01:02:18,440 --> 01:02:19,680
Traction, yes.
1064
01:02:20,440 --> 01:02:21,760
I've put it in launch,
1065
01:02:21,960 --> 01:02:25,040
which sets the rear two engines
in the first of their two gears.
1066
01:02:25,200 --> 01:02:27,200
The front two engines only have one gear.
1067
01:02:27,360 --> 01:02:29,080
I do not know how that works.
1068
01:02:29,240 --> 01:02:32,680
Why doesn't the car stretch
or overtake itself?
1069
01:02:34,520 --> 01:02:35,840
The simple
fact of the matter is,
1070
01:02:36,000 --> 01:02:39,000
that because this car
has no electrical gubbins,
1071
01:02:39,160 --> 01:02:41,680
it is, despite appearances,
1072
01:02:41,840 --> 01:02:43,680
the lightest car here.
1073
01:02:43,840 --> 01:02:46,880
And it has 730 horsepower.
1074
01:02:47,080 --> 01:02:51,320
So allow me please to demonstrate that
you can't beat old-time rock and roll.
1075
01:03:06,800 --> 01:03:07,800
Thrust mode!
1076
01:03:14,760 --> 01:03:16,080
Oh, my word!
1077
01:03:17,400 --> 01:03:18,400
Look at Hammond!
1078
01:03:20,520 --> 01:03:24,560
190, 200, 220, 2…
I can't speak fast enough!
1079
01:03:26,480 --> 01:03:30,400
James and I were now racing
only to see who'd be last.
1080
01:03:30,600 --> 01:03:31,840
Yes, come on, come on!
1081
01:03:36,000 --> 01:03:37,080
Goodbye, Mr. May.
1082
01:03:47,240 --> 01:03:50,080
Jesus wept!
1083
01:03:51,720 --> 01:03:55,280
That Rimac just [bleeps] off.
1084
01:03:57,920 --> 01:04:00,840
If that is the future, I am so ready.
1085
01:04:03,880 --> 01:04:05,560
I've never seen anything like that.
1086
01:04:05,720 --> 01:04:10,560
I've never seen anything
move as quickly as that.
1087
01:04:11,120 --> 01:04:12,480
Not with number plates.
1088
01:04:15,320 --> 01:04:18,920
Actually, that's the most remarkable
drag race of them all, that Rimac one,
1089
01:04:19,120 --> 01:04:21,240
'cause when you're
in the Lamborghini Aventador, as I was,
1090
01:04:22,080 --> 01:04:23,080
and he's in…
1091
01:04:26,480 --> 01:04:29,240
He's in that Honda NSX Hybrid,
1092
01:04:30,880 --> 01:04:32,800
you don't expect anything
1093
01:04:33,760 --> 01:04:36,040
to be demonstrably faster
1094
01:04:36,200 --> 01:04:38,480
than a Lamborghini Aventador.
1095
01:04:38,680 --> 01:04:43,000
The thing is, I've been told
to f… off a lot of times.
1096
01:04:43,720 --> 01:04:45,640
That's the first time
I ever knew how it feels
1097
01:04:45,800 --> 01:04:47,120
to actually just
1098
01:04:47,280 --> 01:04:48,280
f… off,
1099
01:04:48,320 --> 01:04:49,640
- 'cause I did.
- It was astounding.
1100
01:04:49,840 --> 01:04:53,320
- Gone.
- Whatever happened to that Rimac?
1101
01:04:53,520 --> 01:04:55,280
I didn't see it much after that.
1102
01:04:55,480 --> 01:04:58,800
No, I don't remember what happened to it
after that at all.
1103
01:04:59,200 --> 01:05:01,320
And the other thing as well
about drag races,
1104
01:05:01,480 --> 01:05:03,720
doing the drag races
is relatively straightforward.
1105
01:05:03,880 --> 01:05:04,880
- Yeah.
- You might think.
1106
01:05:05,400 --> 01:05:07,720
Sit there, foot down and go.
1107
01:05:08,560 --> 01:05:13,880
But then car makers started
making it unbelievably complicated.
1108
01:05:14,600 --> 01:05:17,320
Remember in The Holy Trinity,
the very first programme, we had
1109
01:05:17,480 --> 01:05:20,400
the Porsche, the Ferrari LaFerrari
1110
01:05:21,160 --> 01:05:22,800
and the McLaren P1.
1111
01:05:24,280 --> 01:05:27,760
We did a drag race
down the main straight at that track.
1112
01:05:28,480 --> 01:05:30,160
- Ten times? Twelve times?
- Yeah.
1113
01:05:30,600 --> 01:05:33,600
And we had a different result
on each occasion,
1114
01:05:33,760 --> 01:05:37,200
because the launch control systems
were so difficult.
1115
01:05:40,440 --> 01:05:43,600
I'm going
to get this wrong, just so you know.
1116
01:05:43,760 --> 01:05:46,280
I've got a lot to do in here.
1117
01:06:22,840 --> 01:06:25,440
They did become complicated.
And sometimes,
1118
01:06:26,000 --> 01:06:28,360
when we had a disastrous drag race,
1119
01:06:29,120 --> 01:06:30,720
it was the car maker's fault.
1120
01:06:30,920 --> 01:06:34,160
But sometimes, sort of our fault.
1121
01:06:34,320 --> 01:06:37,120
Yeah, but sometimes,
circumstances beyond our control.
1122
01:06:37,280 --> 01:06:41,240
It doesn't help
when the runway you're drag racing on
1123
01:06:41,440 --> 01:06:43,120
turns out to be a public road.
1124
01:06:53,040 --> 01:06:54,200
V6,
1125
01:06:54,400 --> 01:06:55,560
V8,
1126
01:06:55,760 --> 01:06:56,960
V12.
1127
01:06:58,960 --> 01:07:00,280
Which would be quickest?
1128
01:07:04,120 --> 01:07:05,600
Good start from the Jag.
1129
01:07:09,120 --> 01:07:11,200
My car is fast!
1130
01:07:14,600 --> 01:07:18,360
One gear, two gears.
Brilliant! It's working!
1131
01:07:18,920 --> 01:07:20,120
Hold on a minute.
1132
01:07:20,280 --> 01:07:22,600
That is… that's traffic.
1133
01:07:26,240 --> 01:07:28,200
The runway has traffic.
Holy shit, I'm gonna have a…
1134
01:07:30,120 --> 01:07:31,320
Wow!
1135
01:07:32,160 --> 01:07:33,160
Maniac!
1136
01:07:36,520 --> 01:07:39,560
Jeez, what the… Shit!
1137
01:07:42,120 --> 01:07:43,200
Oh, dear God!
1138
01:07:45,480 --> 01:07:48,160
Oh, that's a… I was going to hit that.
1139
01:07:55,000 --> 01:07:56,320
Holy moly!
1140
01:07:58,400 --> 01:08:00,720
That was the weirdest drag race
I've ever done.
1141
01:08:01,720 --> 01:08:04,760
This is not
an empty runway, is it?
1142
01:08:04,920 --> 01:08:05,920
I don't think
it's a runway anymore.
1143
01:08:06,040 --> 01:08:07,960
I think it might be a road.
1144
01:08:09,640 --> 01:08:11,520
Let's not do that again.
1145
01:08:22,480 --> 01:08:25,120
The Aston should absolutely cream this.
1146
01:08:25,280 --> 01:08:28,080
On paper it's faster to sixty,
and it's more powerful,
1147
01:08:28,240 --> 01:08:29,640
and it's lighter.
1148
01:08:29,840 --> 01:08:32,640
But it's rear-wheel drive,
and it's a wet track.
1149
01:08:33,920 --> 01:08:37,280
I have four-wheel drive
and launch control.
1150
01:08:38,120 --> 01:08:41,440
Only slight worry is
James has got them as well.
1151
01:08:44,520 --> 01:08:45,520
Here's my prediction.
1152
01:08:45,600 --> 01:08:47,840
Their four-wheel drive systems
and launch controls
1153
01:08:48,000 --> 01:08:49,600
will get them off the line quickly,
1154
01:08:49,800 --> 01:08:52,880
and then, once I've got the power down,
1155
01:08:53,080 --> 01:08:54,840
I'll just become a missile.
1156
01:08:59,120 --> 01:09:01,400
This is not a race to see who wins,
1157
01:09:01,560 --> 01:09:04,320
it's a race to see
which one of my colleagues loses.
1158
01:09:08,120 --> 01:09:09,520
Okay, here we go.
1159
01:09:20,280 --> 01:09:21,280
And we are away.
1160
01:09:23,400 --> 01:09:24,760
Can't get the power down.
1161
01:09:29,200 --> 01:09:32,800
Oh, feeling slithery!
That four-wheel drive doing its job.
1162
01:09:35,160 --> 01:09:38,160
Woah! Okay!
1163
01:09:40,480 --> 01:09:42,560
Bentley's reeling me in,
I don't think he's going to do it.
1164
01:09:44,640 --> 01:09:46,000
Come on, BMW.
1165
01:09:47,880 --> 01:09:50,240
Yes!
1166
01:09:50,720 --> 01:09:52,480
Where's Jeremy gone?
1167
01:09:53,400 --> 01:09:56,200
Interesting building here,
it's a government building.
1168
01:09:56,360 --> 01:09:57,360
Just going to have a look at it.
1169
01:09:59,600 --> 01:10:01,120
Yeah, right.
1170
01:10:02,680 --> 01:10:05,840
I therefore decided
that before we tried again,
1171
01:10:06,040 --> 01:10:08,080
I should do something about the weather.
1172
01:10:08,880 --> 01:10:11,360
So I got us, and all our crew vehicles,
1173
01:10:11,560 --> 01:10:15,400
to drive up and down the track
to try and dry it out.
1174
01:10:16,440 --> 01:10:18,880
This took quite a while.
1175
01:10:19,680 --> 01:10:22,680
How dry
are we gonna be able to get this track?
1176
01:10:22,880 --> 01:10:24,600
It's drying out
on James's side.
1177
01:10:24,760 --> 01:10:27,720
If we do another run with me there,
be all right.
1178
01:10:27,920 --> 01:10:29,480
Well, it's not hardly real-world is it,
1179
01:10:29,640 --> 01:10:32,800
choosing which bit of the road
you drive on to make your car faster.
1180
01:10:36,200 --> 01:10:40,280
As that is in fact exactly
what you do in a race, I ignored him,
1181
01:10:40,440 --> 01:10:42,880
and lined up on the dry line.
1182
01:10:44,840 --> 01:10:48,480
So, BMW, Bentley,
or the surface-to-air missile.
1183
01:10:48,640 --> 01:10:49,960
Which will win?
1184
01:10:56,800 --> 01:10:58,200
Amber.
1185
01:11:03,120 --> 01:11:04,160
Go!
1186
01:11:06,520 --> 01:11:07,880
It's a great start.
1187
01:11:10,080 --> 01:11:11,720
Jesus, it's still doing it.
1188
01:11:12,760 --> 01:11:14,480
80 miles an hour, 90 miles an hour.
1189
01:11:16,680 --> 01:11:19,440
Oh, it's going sideways again! Oh, my…
1190
01:11:23,360 --> 01:11:25,040
Oh shit!
1191
01:11:26,920 --> 01:11:28,040
Reel him in, reel him in.
1192
01:11:28,240 --> 01:11:29,600
Come on, BMW!
1193
01:11:31,800 --> 01:11:33,800
Bugger!
1194
01:11:37,400 --> 01:11:39,560
Well, there we are.
The Aston was by far
1195
01:11:39,720 --> 01:11:43,200
the most exciting to look at there,
as usual.
1196
01:11:43,360 --> 01:11:45,240
So, now, let's get some lunch.
1197
01:11:54,840 --> 01:11:58,040
Everybody else in the world has an iPod.
1198
01:11:58,200 --> 01:12:01,000
- I don't think you've got…
- What have you got a gramophone for?
1199
01:12:01,160 --> 01:12:02,145
It was my grandmother's.
1200
01:12:02,160 --> 01:12:04,480
We're fleeing from rebel forces.
Don't stand here doing a commentary.
1201
01:12:04,680 --> 01:12:05,880
Get in your truck.
1202
01:12:06,600 --> 01:12:08,200
I am ready to flee.
1203
01:12:11,720 --> 01:12:13,480
Here we go. Here we go.
1204
01:12:21,520 --> 01:12:23,280
Bit of a slow start for fleeing.
1205
01:12:29,880 --> 01:12:31,840
Wow, I may have lost a couple of things.
1206
01:12:37,400 --> 01:12:39,040
Oh, I've lost my bike!
1207
01:12:39,240 --> 01:12:41,680
I was so hoping
to have my bike available once I'd fled.
1208
01:12:44,360 --> 01:12:46,720
Bit of buffeting and I'm losing.
1209
01:12:47,960 --> 01:12:49,720
Oh, and Jeremy's getting away!
1210
01:12:52,360 --> 01:12:55,000
Storming ahead. I mean, storming.
1211
01:12:58,200 --> 01:12:59,200
Oh, a lot of glass!
1212
01:12:59,400 --> 01:13:00,880
There's glass everywhere.
1213
01:13:05,240 --> 01:13:07,000
That is not a lot of braking area.
1214
01:13:26,720 --> 01:13:27,880
My Lego!
1215
01:13:40,160 --> 01:13:41,200
Bicycle.
1216
01:13:44,960 --> 01:13:46,640
- This is our new life, chaps.
- This is…
1217
01:13:46,800 --> 01:13:49,280
Lego, cream, and a shit record.
1218
01:13:49,440 --> 01:13:50,480
Well, you say that…
1219
01:13:50,640 --> 01:13:52,560
- I'm gonna start again.
- Oh, no, we've got a chair!
1220
01:13:52,720 --> 01:13:54,440
- You say that.
- We're gonna be all right!
1221
01:13:54,600 --> 01:13:57,480
- I literally think we're okay.
- Yes.
1222
01:13:59,760 --> 01:14:04,120
Now, obviously,
all of that stuff was accidental.
1223
01:14:04,280 --> 01:14:06,720
But sometimes, I'll be honest,
1224
01:14:07,480 --> 01:14:11,320
we did do dicking about on purpose.
1225
01:14:13,680 --> 01:14:15,160
What's the matter,
is your door broken?
1226
01:14:15,320 --> 01:14:18,120
No, I'm broken. Can you
hold the door for me? Thank you.
1227
01:14:18,640 --> 01:14:19,680
Behold.
1228
01:14:20,280 --> 01:14:23,080
The Maserati Zagato Spyder.
1229
01:14:23,240 --> 01:14:24,520
No, Biturbo, mate.
1230
01:14:24,680 --> 01:14:27,320
- No, it's a Zagato Spyder.
- It is, they're all Biturbos.
1231
01:14:27,480 --> 01:14:30,000
See I think this was designed
when it was owned by Citroën,
1232
01:14:30,160 --> 01:14:31,560
which was bankrupt at the time.
1233
01:14:31,720 --> 01:14:34,520
Then, there was some guy in America
who had a bit of Maserati.
1234
01:14:34,680 --> 01:14:36,680
And then,
I think the Italian government or Fiat,
1235
01:14:36,840 --> 01:14:38,880
- they all sort of had bits of it.
- Right.
1236
01:14:39,040 --> 01:14:41,280
And they just ran around going:
"We made a new car, look."
1237
01:14:41,480 --> 01:14:43,480
It was exactly the same as the last car,
it just had a new name.
1238
01:14:43,680 --> 01:14:46,440
Excuse me, James.
I just want to see just…
1239
01:14:46,880 --> 01:14:49,160
- Oh, you've got like two-tone leather.
- Mmh.
1240
01:14:49,320 --> 01:14:51,240
But why have you got
an automatic?
1241
01:14:51,400 --> 01:14:54,440
I've bust my arm. That's why
it took a long time to get out.
1242
01:14:54,640 --> 01:14:56,960
- Have you really broken your arm?
- Which arm have you broken?
1243
01:15:00,160 --> 01:15:03,920
We'll be driving Maseratis
on a racetrack in continental Europe.
1244
01:15:04,080 --> 01:15:05,480
It just sounds good, doesn't it?
1245
01:15:05,640 --> 01:15:08,440
What's the matter with you?
Why does he look so miserable?
1246
01:15:10,160 --> 01:15:11,760
I've broken my arm.
1247
01:15:11,920 --> 01:15:13,640
Look,
if we're going to drive round a track,
1248
01:15:13,800 --> 01:15:17,920
can I at least have one of those
disabled knob things, you know?
1249
01:15:18,320 --> 01:15:19,400
On the steering wheel?
1250
01:15:19,560 --> 01:15:21,560
- Yeah, like a forklift truck has one.
- That sounds fair enough.
1251
01:15:24,880 --> 01:15:25,960
There you go.
1252
01:15:36,680 --> 01:15:38,400
Oh, God, it's the left-hander.
1253
01:15:40,560 --> 01:15:42,160
Bend the knob.
1254
01:15:43,280 --> 01:15:45,840
What is the matter with those two?
1255
01:15:55,240 --> 01:15:56,640
Clarkson!
1256
01:15:56,840 --> 01:15:57,920
What?
1257
01:15:58,080 --> 01:16:01,120
You've put… where's–
That is disturbing.
1258
01:16:02,160 --> 01:16:04,440
What's really annoying is what
have you done with my original vintage
1259
01:16:04,640 --> 01:16:05,680
VW gear knob,
1260
01:16:05,840 --> 01:16:08,080
- 'cause if you've lost that…
- Ah well, good news on that.
1261
01:16:08,280 --> 01:16:11,440
Giovanni has posted your original gear
lever back to your address in London.
1262
01:16:11,600 --> 01:16:13,280
- Has he?
- Yes.
1263
01:16:13,480 --> 01:16:16,200
What is the matter with you?
That's really offensive.
1264
01:16:16,920 --> 01:16:19,560
- Well, I think that's a bit sexist.
- No it's not.
1265
01:16:19,760 --> 01:16:21,520
Why would I want to drive along
with a rubber penis on there?
1266
01:16:21,720 --> 01:16:23,360
I don't know, I think you're weird.
1267
01:16:29,080 --> 01:16:32,000
For our American viewers,
James May is driving a dick shift.
1268
01:16:33,960 --> 01:16:35,360
Oh, shut up.
1269
01:16:35,920 --> 01:16:36,960
Jeez.
1270
01:16:42,560 --> 01:16:44,560
Oh, in the face!
1271
01:16:49,920 --> 01:16:52,040
And a red run,
by the looks of things.
1272
01:17:41,360 --> 01:17:42,480
What the…?
1273
01:17:43,840 --> 01:17:45,040
What the [bleep]?
1274
01:17:50,400 --> 01:17:53,360
That's what you get
for encasing my car in ice, I guess.
1275
01:17:59,840 --> 01:18:00,840
What?
1276
01:18:26,600 --> 01:18:27,600
Good.
1277
01:18:34,560 --> 01:18:36,840
All exits are clearly
marked with a sign overhead…
1278
01:18:37,000 --> 01:18:39,280
It's very unusual having
business class at the back, isn't it?
1279
01:18:42,400 --> 01:18:46,760
At this point, I decided to make
life even worse for Hammond and May
1280
01:18:46,960 --> 01:18:49,600
by making another call to their airline.
1281
01:18:49,800 --> 01:18:52,120
Thank you
for calling Jet Blue, how may I help you?
1282
01:18:52,280 --> 01:18:55,400
I'm really sorry to trouble you again,
it's Jeremy Clarkson here.
1283
01:18:55,560 --> 01:18:59,360
I spoke earlier about downgrading
Mr. May and Mr. Hammond
1284
01:18:59,520 --> 01:19:01,560
to economy class.
1285
01:19:01,760 --> 01:19:03,760
- Yeah.
- Well, I wonder if I could just
1286
01:19:03,960 --> 01:19:07,280
tell you in confidence,
they've both just come out of rehab.
1287
01:19:08,400 --> 01:19:10,160
So, on the flight,
1288
01:19:10,320 --> 01:19:13,480
could you make sure the attendants
don't give them any alcohol?
1289
01:19:13,680 --> 01:19:15,640
Thank you
for letting us know.
1290
01:19:15,800 --> 01:19:19,240
I will go onto the reservation
and make a note of this
1291
01:19:19,400 --> 01:19:21,040
and get this to our in-flight crew.
1292
01:19:21,200 --> 01:19:24,760
But we will make sure
to accommodate their special request.
1293
01:19:24,960 --> 01:19:26,880
Okay, thank you for your understanding.
Thank you so much.
1294
01:19:27,080 --> 01:19:28,600
Thank you, bye.
1295
01:19:31,240 --> 01:19:34,400
I think we should celebrate
our progress right now
1296
01:19:34,560 --> 01:19:36,520
as we're moving so well. Hello.
1297
01:19:36,720 --> 01:19:38,000
- Hello.
- Hi.
1298
01:19:38,200 --> 01:19:40,200
Can we have… Beer? Two beers, please.
1299
01:19:41,440 --> 01:19:43,000
Let me see.
1300
01:19:43,160 --> 01:19:45,160
So as it turns out, unfortunately,
1301
01:19:45,360 --> 01:19:47,640
I won't be able to serve you
any beer today.
1302
01:19:47,800 --> 01:19:50,760
- Can I offer you a water, Coke, Sprite?
- You've got no beer?
1303
01:19:50,920 --> 01:19:53,080
- No, I'm sorry.
- Wine. Wine?
1304
01:19:53,240 --> 01:19:54,240
Two glasses of wine? White wine.
1305
01:19:54,400 --> 01:19:56,000
I'm not quite
too sure why,
1306
01:19:56,160 --> 01:19:57,800
but unfortunately, I won't be able to.
1307
01:19:57,960 --> 01:19:59,600
Can I interest you
in some other beverages?
1308
01:20:00,720 --> 01:20:02,000
This is brilliant.
1309
01:20:05,560 --> 01:20:08,280
Why do they use
such long hoses in fire engines?
1310
01:20:08,440 --> 01:20:10,840
Well, in case
the fire's a long way away!
1311
01:20:13,160 --> 01:20:14,160
Right.
1312
01:20:14,760 --> 01:20:15,760
Oh, this is…
1313
01:20:18,320 --> 01:20:20,080
We could always tell him
that the roof seal was leaking.
1314
01:20:20,240 --> 01:20:21,240
Yes.
1315
01:20:23,280 --> 01:20:24,280
Yes.
1316
01:20:24,480 --> 01:20:26,240
If you've just joined us,
1317
01:20:26,960 --> 01:20:29,240
it's a difficult story to unpack.
1318
01:20:29,880 --> 01:20:31,920
I reckon you're about there, Hammond.
1319
01:20:34,880 --> 01:20:37,440
We assumed
James wouldn't discover our mischief
1320
01:20:37,600 --> 01:20:39,360
until he drove off.
1321
01:20:40,280 --> 01:20:41,280
However,
1322
01:20:41,480 --> 01:20:43,800
we didn't have to wait that long.
1323
01:20:58,520 --> 01:21:00,480
He's got to be cross!
1324
01:21:02,120 --> 01:21:03,120
Jesus!
1325
01:21:03,160 --> 01:21:05,320
The roof light
was open on your caravan.
1326
01:21:05,480 --> 01:21:07,880
- Yeah.
- You're so funny.
1327
01:21:50,760 --> 01:21:52,480
It's definitely corked.
1328
01:21:53,600 --> 01:21:54,840
Sorry.
1329
01:21:56,920 --> 01:22:00,240
I've never been
to a waxworks museum.
1330
01:22:02,120 --> 01:22:03,360
Ryan Reynolds?
1331
01:22:03,520 --> 01:22:06,160
- Oh, that's Paul Walker.
- Oh.
1332
01:22:06,320 --> 01:22:10,520
Then, in a room containing
what was probably Elvis Presley…
1333
01:22:11,720 --> 01:22:13,840
- Oh, for heaven's sake.
- Yeah!
1334
01:22:14,800 --> 01:22:17,440
Nigel Mansell!
It isn't, though, is it?
1335
01:22:17,600 --> 01:22:20,480
He's got a moustache
that matches his eyebrows! It is!
1336
01:22:21,600 --> 01:22:23,800
But why would you have
Nigel Mansell?
1337
01:22:23,960 --> 01:22:25,400
I mean, why not Lewis Hamilton?
1338
01:22:25,560 --> 01:22:28,760
The reference is a bit
out of date. I mean, bless him, but…
1339
01:22:28,920 --> 01:22:30,680
- Lando Norris!
- No.
1340
01:22:30,840 --> 01:22:32,840
George Thingy… Russell.
1341
01:22:33,040 --> 01:22:35,280
I'm really annoyed about this.
1342
01:22:35,480 --> 01:22:38,400
James, it isn't that it's not very good,
it's the wrong subject.
1343
01:22:40,080 --> 01:22:42,200
I then had a brainwave.
1344
01:22:42,880 --> 01:22:44,480
I'm going to steal it.
1345
01:22:46,960 --> 01:22:50,120
If we take him away, they'll be forced
to replace him, won't they,
1346
01:22:50,320 --> 01:22:51,560
with Lewis Hamilton.
1347
01:22:53,040 --> 01:22:54,560
Right, let me put it to you this way.
1348
01:22:54,760 --> 01:22:56,680
We've got many, many miles
to get to Slovenia
1349
01:22:56,840 --> 01:22:59,080
- and you're driving a terrible car.
- Yes.
1350
01:22:59,240 --> 01:23:01,360
- If we had this with us…
- Yeah?
1351
01:23:02,000 --> 01:23:03,000
It would cheer us up.
1352
01:23:03,200 --> 01:23:05,560
- It would.
- Every time you were feeling a bit low,
1353
01:23:05,720 --> 01:23:09,240
sometimes Titties 'n' Beer
was being a bit badly behaved,
1354
01:23:09,400 --> 01:23:11,840
you'd just look in your rear-view mirror,
1355
01:23:12,000 --> 01:23:13,760
and there, in my passenger seat…
1356
01:23:13,960 --> 01:23:16,360
Is someone who looks a bit
like Nigel Mansell.
1357
01:23:20,440 --> 01:23:22,120
Right. Ssh, ssh, ssh.
1358
01:23:22,280 --> 01:23:24,240
- We're off the television and so is he.
- I'll tell you what.
1359
01:23:24,400 --> 01:23:26,440
- We're all…
- He's doing…
1360
01:23:26,600 --> 01:23:28,440
Do the Birmingham accent!
You're from Birmingham!
1361
01:23:28,600 --> 01:23:31,760
"I've had enough of
this. Let's go and drive about outside."
1362
01:23:31,920 --> 01:23:33,800
Yeah, all right, Nigel.
We'll take you out.
1363
01:23:33,960 --> 01:23:35,040
"Thanks
for bringing me with you, lads.
1364
01:23:35,200 --> 01:23:37,400
"I really enjoyed
the look around the museum.
1365
01:23:37,560 --> 01:23:39,320
"Just what I wanted to see.
1366
01:23:39,480 --> 01:23:42,160
"I saw that one in London.
It's not as good as this, is it?
1367
01:23:42,320 --> 01:23:45,720
"I'm gonna go and do some racing.
I'm dressed and ready.
1368
01:23:45,880 --> 01:23:47,240
"Mind me head on this beam here.
1369
01:23:47,400 --> 01:23:49,200
"Oh, bugger, I knocked it.
1370
01:23:49,360 --> 01:23:51,320
"Er, I'll see you later,
Paul Walker, mate."
1371
01:23:53,320 --> 01:23:54,360
Just keep going!
1372
01:23:54,560 --> 01:23:56,520
"Oh, I hate Harry Potter.
1373
01:23:56,920 --> 01:23:58,680
"Absolute bollocks.
1374
01:23:59,120 --> 01:24:01,320
"Hold up, lads. Wait for us. I'm coming."
1375
01:24:03,640 --> 01:24:05,680
Guys, guys,
we can get out this way.
1376
01:24:05,840 --> 01:24:07,160
Ssh, ssh.
1377
01:24:07,360 --> 01:24:08,560
Come this way.
1378
01:24:08,760 --> 01:24:11,160
"That, lads,
was an amazing visit.
1379
01:24:11,320 --> 01:24:13,120
"Thanks for bringing us with ya."
1380
01:24:14,760 --> 01:24:16,000
- Oh.
- Oh.
1381
01:24:16,960 --> 01:24:19,040
- This is probably somebody's house.
- It's possible, yes.
1382
01:24:19,200 --> 01:24:21,880
They may be a bit surprised
to find us three and Nigel Mansell in it.
1383
01:24:24,800 --> 01:24:27,040
- Where are you going now?
- Hearing aids are charged up.
1384
01:24:28,120 --> 01:24:29,280
That was good, that.
1385
01:24:29,480 --> 01:24:31,520
Will you stop messing about
with your hearing aids?
1386
01:24:33,640 --> 01:24:35,120
Are you afflicting the old?
1387
01:24:35,280 --> 01:24:39,960
Anyway, look, look,
we drove a lot of cars over the years.
1388
01:24:40,160 --> 01:24:42,080
- We did.
- So we know a lot about them.
1389
01:24:42,800 --> 01:24:46,080
What would you say
is the most unreliable part of a car?
1390
01:24:46,280 --> 01:24:47,720
Er, head gaskets.
1391
01:24:47,880 --> 01:24:48,880
No.
1392
01:24:49,040 --> 01:24:50,040
Electronics.
1393
01:24:50,160 --> 01:24:51,400
- No.
- ECUs.
1394
01:24:51,600 --> 01:24:53,560
Brakes.
Well, it is when he's driving them.
1395
01:24:53,760 --> 01:24:54,920
- That can happen.
- Or you.
1396
01:24:55,120 --> 01:24:57,320
And we've proved this. No, no.
1397
01:24:57,520 --> 01:24:58,520
Give in, what?
1398
01:24:58,640 --> 01:24:59,880
Windscreen wipers.
1399
01:25:00,080 --> 01:25:01,440
- Really?
- Yeah.
1400
01:25:05,160 --> 01:25:06,240
Are you ready?
1401
01:25:08,960 --> 01:25:10,360
What about that one?
1402
01:25:15,120 --> 01:25:17,480
It's like a bass drum
and a snare drum!
1403
01:25:19,240 --> 01:25:22,360
I think it's time for me
to just clear the windscreen a bit.
1404
01:25:25,160 --> 01:25:28,120
Oh. Oh no. That…
1405
01:25:28,680 --> 01:25:29,680
Oh.
1406
01:25:32,560 --> 01:25:37,160
My car is just
so refined and sophisticated.
1407
01:25:37,320 --> 01:25:40,760
And in fact, really well looked after
by its previous owner.
1408
01:25:40,920 --> 01:25:43,040
It was obviously loved and…
1409
01:25:45,680 --> 01:25:48,480
One of my windscreen wipers
just fell off.
1410
01:25:49,160 --> 01:25:51,240
James, can I just say
you've done three miles?
1411
01:25:51,400 --> 01:25:54,440
There, it's mended for now.
Don't turn it on again.
1412
01:25:54,600 --> 01:25:56,480
Let's just turn it on,
I want to see what happens.
1413
01:25:58,320 --> 01:25:59,320
You ready?
1414
01:26:02,320 --> 01:26:03,265
In Scotland!
1415
01:26:03,280 --> 01:26:05,000
In Scotland you won't need it.
That's the thing.
1416
01:26:05,160 --> 01:26:07,120
- Perfect.
- 'Cause it never rains.
1417
01:26:10,320 --> 01:26:13,080
The windscreen wipers
randomly come on.
1418
01:26:14,560 --> 01:26:16,320
Stop it, windscreen wipers.
1419
01:26:22,640 --> 01:26:26,240
Stop wiping the windscreen,
you stupid rubber bastards!
1420
01:26:30,680 --> 01:26:32,400
Raining now, that's predictable.
1421
01:26:32,560 --> 01:26:33,960
We've been in Scotland
1422
01:26:34,920 --> 01:26:37,080
for what, 20 minutes?
1423
01:26:42,040 --> 01:26:44,480
Not good. The news is not good.
1424
01:26:48,760 --> 01:26:51,920
What is the best scene
1425
01:26:52,120 --> 01:26:54,280
I saw, or we saw?
1426
01:26:54,720 --> 01:26:55,665
The view, you mean?
1427
01:26:55,680 --> 01:26:57,920
Yeah, well, when we've been
travelling the world,
1428
01:26:58,120 --> 01:27:00,800
and we really have travelled
most of it…
1429
01:27:01,960 --> 01:27:04,960
- Madagascar's pretty.
- Madagascar had that colour green
1430
01:27:05,120 --> 01:27:07,760
- that only exists in Madagascar.
- Very green.
1431
01:27:07,920 --> 01:27:11,760
I mean Porsche has just launched
a new car which is very vivid green,
1432
01:27:11,920 --> 01:27:14,520
but it's nowhere near as vivid
as the green you see
1433
01:27:14,680 --> 01:27:16,120
in the hedgerows of Madagascar.
1434
01:27:16,800 --> 01:27:18,480
You probably can't remember
any of these things.
1435
01:27:18,640 --> 01:27:21,520
I can,
but I can't remember where they were.
1436
01:27:21,680 --> 01:27:23,560
These eyes have looked upon beauty,
1437
01:27:23,720 --> 01:27:25,600
but the brain can't tell them
where it was.
1438
01:27:25,800 --> 01:27:28,360
I'm gonna say the two oases,
you wouldn't have seen one,
1439
01:27:28,520 --> 01:27:30,320
so don't struggle to remember it,
you weren't there.
1440
01:27:30,520 --> 01:27:32,080
The one in Mauritania,
1441
01:27:32,280 --> 01:27:33,960
and it was just all deserts.
1442
01:27:34,760 --> 01:27:36,280
Yes, and didn't we…
1443
01:27:36,800 --> 01:27:38,120
Oh, God, you're getting as bad as him.
1444
01:27:38,280 --> 01:27:40,240
No, no, but you and I, he wasn't there,
but we went to…
1445
01:27:40,440 --> 01:27:43,600
We went to that little oasis-type place,
do you remember,
1446
01:27:43,760 --> 01:27:45,600
up the path,
or is that what you're talking about?
1447
01:27:45,800 --> 01:27:48,160
That is what he's talking about.
I wasn't there…
1448
01:27:48,360 --> 01:27:50,200
Literally, I just set that whole thing up
1449
01:27:50,360 --> 01:27:52,360
- and you went: "Oh, that oasis thing."
- I wasn't really listening.
1450
01:28:15,080 --> 01:28:17,360
Bloody Nora, look at this!
1451
01:28:17,520 --> 01:28:18,800
Hey, look.
1452
01:28:25,360 --> 01:28:26,960
Jesus wept!
1453
01:28:35,120 --> 01:28:37,400
Literally no evidence that I'm English.
1454
01:28:40,760 --> 01:28:44,440
But then there was another oasis.
See if you can remember this, James.
1455
01:28:45,200 --> 01:28:46,840
- There was another oasis.
- Mmm.
1456
01:28:47,000 --> 01:28:49,920
- Is that the one where he wasn't there?
- No, you weren't there.
1457
01:28:50,080 --> 01:28:53,320
- How can he remember that?
- That was when I was in the Crosley.
1458
01:28:53,520 --> 01:28:54,680
No, not in the Crosley.
1459
01:28:54,880 --> 01:28:55,880
You were in the Crosley at an oasis?
1460
01:28:56,040 --> 01:28:57,760
There wasn't an oasis
in Eastern Europe.
1461
01:28:57,960 --> 01:29:00,040
Honestly, God, this is… I…
1462
01:29:00,480 --> 01:29:04,280
- How can I remember it if I wasn't there?
- Mongolia. You and I walked up
1463
01:29:04,480 --> 01:29:07,040
that tiny teardrop of the Gobi Desert,
1464
01:29:07,880 --> 01:29:10,720
and it was like something
from five million years ago.
1465
01:29:10,920 --> 01:29:12,600
I do remember that, on that narrow…
1466
01:29:12,760 --> 01:29:16,880
And there were those giant birds that
made the cameraman go "fucking hell!"
1467
01:29:29,560 --> 01:29:30,920
Holy mother of…
1468
01:29:31,080 --> 01:29:32,440
That's beautiful.
1469
01:29:33,720 --> 01:29:34,720
I didn't expect this.
1470
01:29:35,240 --> 01:29:37,080
Well, it's a lost world look.
1471
01:29:38,480 --> 01:29:39,800
Oh, [bleep] me.
1472
01:29:39,960 --> 01:29:41,320
Said the cameraman.
1473
01:29:41,480 --> 01:29:43,400
We really are good
at wildlife photography, aren't we?
1474
01:29:43,560 --> 01:29:44,800
"Oh [bleep] me!"
1475
01:29:47,800 --> 01:29:51,440
We've been to some
astonishingly spectacular places.
1476
01:29:51,640 --> 01:29:54,160
What we're gonna see now is a collection
of some of the views we've seen,
1477
01:29:54,320 --> 01:29:56,600
which is actually a tribute to
1478
01:29:56,760 --> 01:30:00,400
all the camera people and directors
that we've worked with over the years,
1479
01:30:00,560 --> 01:30:02,680
'cause they were
really good at their jobs.
1480
01:30:02,840 --> 01:30:04,160
Much better than us.
1481
01:32:20,800 --> 01:32:24,560
What lovely views,
and what an astonishing canon of work.
1482
01:32:24,720 --> 01:32:28,320
Yes! Thank you, you said it!
I just want to say canon of work.
1483
01:32:28,520 --> 01:32:29,680
You said I had to say that.
1484
01:32:29,840 --> 01:32:31,520
Well, I want to say
we've got a canon of work.
1485
01:32:31,720 --> 01:32:32,720
I have said it.
1486
01:32:32,760 --> 01:32:35,960
And now on that terrible disappointment,
it's time to end.
1487
01:32:36,520 --> 01:32:38,240
- Oh no, wait, we've got one more.
- We've got one more.
1488
01:32:38,440 --> 01:32:40,920
We've got one more.
Well, see you for that one.